Full Circle (Book 8 in Arrow/Spn Crossover)

Choices, Consequences and Committment

I read it a second time, mainly because I was speechless too. I expect angels like Cas to be able to see inside a person's soul, but not a Shaman I'd only met once. I mean, I knew he'd checked out my Warrior Spirit and all that but I never really put much thought into what he had seen beyond the hellhound's marker and that Sam and I were completely screwed up. Everything he said was dead on, not only about me but about her and hunting. We'd talked about it years ago, when hunting was a lot less complicated. We both felt the same way, there's something to be said about living between the cracks of society, off the grid and doing whatever the hell you like. Especially when you're in your twenties and feeling like the world is just waiting for you to do some crazy ass amazing thing. Back then we both got off a lot on the hunt, the adrenaline rush, the feeling of skating past Death one more time and taking out something that few people even knew existed.

A decade or so later, more fights than most people would survive and way too many trips to the after life and back I'd lost a lot of that dumb ass courage. She'd gained her own scars and had taken on a whole new realm of responsibilities while sharing some of mine. A lot had changed but Rising Dove had nailed the one thing that hadn't, how we felt about each other. Cougar's issues with me made a lot more sense, I didn't quite understand all that was involved with being Shaman before now, I'd only ever been responsible for one person, never a whole tribe, and I'd sacrificed everything for him, repeatedly. I wouldn't exactly say that Sam made my Spirit sing but for most of my life he'd been the reason I got out of bed in the morning, the reason I fought so hard, hell, the reason I existed. I never saw him as something that held me back and I know that Coyote really didn't feel that her tribe held her back but, fact was, she was leaving because of me.

If I was just some hunter she was friends with, I know for damn sure she wouldn't be doing this. She'd admitted it to me, but I don't think the true extent of what that meant had hit her. It sure as hell hadn't hit me. I needed to track her down. I set the letter on the table, grabbed some bottles of water and followed her. It wasn't exactly cool outside and between the crying and the pace she'd set if she went too far she was going to need some water at some point. I knew the rough location of some of her spots she tended to go to to think, I just hope she didn't head to her cave. She'd told me about it, I'd never been there but I knew it was a decent hike to get to and she'd usually overnight when she went to it.

Fortunately she'd slowed down by the time I cleared the backyard. I followed along behind her, I didn't talk, I just kept an eye on her. The farther she went, the longer it took her to cover any ground. Her steps grew shakier and I heard her sobs. As much as I wanted to hold her something told me she wasn't ready for that yet. She finally came to a stop and slowly dropped to the ground under a scrubby tree. I joined her, handed her a bottle of water and sat next to her. She'd talk when she was ready. I'd downed about half of my bottle before she said anything.

"Did you read it?"

"Yeah, hope you don't mind."

She shook her head, roughly wiped tears off her cheeks and took a few shaky breaths, "I forgot how accurate he could be."

"I never knew. You think you'll ever be like that?"

A shudder ran through her, "Not sure if I ever want to be. What I see now is bad enough already."

"I can't really imagine what that's like."

"I wish there was a way I could explain it." She was staring aimlessly at her bottle, rubbing the bits of moisture off the side.

"Hey."

She looked at me, I lifted my arm up and slid closer to her. As soon as I got close enough she leaned into me and I put my arm around her shoulders.