it's what I do best. running the same cycle over and over again.
check the gates, check we're all in. check the carriages, check there's no red flags. say what I need to say, run the cycle, here goes the feeling you paid for. you're always paying for it, every time it goes around. it comes to an end, sooner than you'd think it did, and I start it all over again.
it's what I do best. running the same cycle over and over again.
check the gates, check I've felt that little swoop. check, run over it in my head, thinking this time if I ask myself the right questions I'll know before I can ever know. don't say what I need to not say. this time I'll say it right- I'll say nothing. It'll just be between us. here goes the feeling I paid for. here we go, around and around, and when it ends it'll just end a little too soon. I will take a breath, I will get you off, and the cycle will start again.
it is what I do best. even when I don't want to do it.
there it goes again: someone is standing where they need to stand, said what they need to say. if you have a ticket, I have to let you on. when our fingers brush I'll know, and I know it'll hurt. that won't stop it hurting. I have to let you on, and I have to check that you are all in, and I will have to shut my mouth and ignore what I want. I will have to get on the ride. even if I don't want to.
it is all I do. running the same cycle over and over again.
when it ends, it's never quite right. I never quite learn my lesson; I tell myself there's a lesson to learn. but there is no lesson, it is just a cycle. here you are, in front of me, resplendent, and you give me that ride: make me think it's going to happen. make me think we're falling, make me think I'm going to die, make me think I'm going to die for you, and then it ends. then you swoop, save me from myself, make sure I get off the ride alone. it was all for fun, just to make you feel like you're falling. you're safe. nothing is happening. nothing is ever happening.
it is all I do. falling and regretting it later.
it is all I do.
I cannot stop the rides. I can never finish, never stop running cycles, over and over again.
the only thing that changes is the ride.
YOU ARE READING
Assorted Poetry
PoesíaI had a vent account on Poetizer, but it went paid, so I had to save the poems here. They're not particularly effortful, just vomited prose, but I had nothing else to do with them. They may be added to, or not. Largely not too graphic, but there is...
