𝐒𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍; 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫.

𝐥𝐢𝐢. 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡

"𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧," 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫. "I just want to talk to you."

"Please leave."

"Why won't you let me in? I want to help you."

"I don't want to see you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, I actually don't care. I'm coming in."

"Don't."

He opened the door and stepped inside, swiftly shutting it behind him. "How come everyone else got to talk to you, but I don't?"

"Get out," Sirius said weakly. He was curled in a ball, under the covers and facing the corner. He refused to look at Remus. 

"Don't you think I understand better than anyone else?" Remus demanded. "Look at my scars, Sirius."

"It's not the same," Sirius muttered.

"Excuse me?" Remus's jaw dropped.

"It's not the same."

"You're an asshole," Remus spat, rage welling up in his chest, "and you're selfish."

"I'm not done talking." Sirius looked over at him, swollen and lumpy face barely visible from under the covers. 

"Well, you better finish fast, because I'm getting pissed off, Sirius," Remus said. "You know I hate my scars."

"Yeah, well, I don't. Truth be told, it's one of my favorite things about you, Remus. D'you know how much I lo—like your scars? D'you know why?"

"Can't even begin to guess," Remus snapped, folding his arms and sitting in the chair beside Sirius's bed. "And you better not be joking about them."

"I'm not fucking joking. Stop getting offended when I'm trying to say that I think they show how strong you are. You're the strongest person I know. Your scars are a story."

"And yours aren't?"

"Overcoming a life-changing event that separates you from every other student at Hogwarts is way more impressive than getting beat by ur mum, Remus. I wish I was more like you. Do you know what the difference between us is?"

"I can think of several," Remus said bitterly.

"When the things around me are falling apart," Sirius said, dropping the covers to look clearly at Remus, "I blame other people. But when your life goes to shit, you blame yourself."

Upon seeing Sirius's damaged face up close, Remus opened his mouth to say something, but was shushed.

"I'm still talking," Sirius said, holding up his hand. "As I was saying. You always look out for others. You always do the right thing. D'you know how fucking selfish and stupid I am? I never do the right thing. I mess up all the time. I crave, Remus, I crave your mind. I wish I could be the way you are."

"Stop it," Remus whispered. His throat was burning. "You're just saying that."

"I never say things right. I can't always comfort my friends. But you always can, Remus. You always say the right things in the right way and you always say it confidently. Even when you're standing up to your friends."

"I have strong convictions," Remus said. "That makes me abrasive—"

"That makes you brave," Sirius corrected. "I'm not poetic like you are, Remus, but the way you speak makes me crave your mind. It makes me...it makes me crave your mouth."

"Come on," Remus muttered, making to stand up, but Sirius grabbed his hand. 

"Sit down," he pleaded.

"So now you want me to stay? Pick one."

"Stay. Please."

"Why wouldn't you let me in?"

"When we were...outside the ball. And we smoked together," Sirius said eventually, "it felt like you really, really saw me. It scared me, because there's a lot of bad things about me. But I was scared when you saw me, the uglier things would be easier to point out because...because of how I look right now."

"It scared you?"

"More than anything."

"Why?"

Sirius looked up at him carefully. "Because it made me feel, Remus. And I didn't know what to do."

Remus leaned back in his chair, staring hard at Sirius. "If this is a joke—"

And then Sirius pulled him forward and kissed him. He pulled back immediately, wincing, bringing a hand up to his bruised mouth, but when he felt no blood, he looked back at Remus.

"When I said I crave your mouth," Sirius muttered, staring at him, "I meant it like this, too." And then he leaned forward.

hi guys. sorry for the short chapter, but i figured this scene deserved its own chapter ngl