Punchbag - Calum Hood (5sos) Alternate Universe [ON HOLD]

29: cassidy

29: flame - sundara karma

©assidy

When I'd arrived home from the awful experience at Calum's, mum had gone (dad had managed to usher her back into the woodwork; she was to collect me on the date we'd originally set, this time next week) and all I'd wanted to do was die. The next best thing was sleeping, so I'do slipped into my PJs and my body had rather reluctantly fallen into an uncomfortable slumber. Only to be awoken by Calum banging on the door at some ungodly hour.

I'd told him where to shove it, of course. Admittedly, I cried until I had a splitting headache afterwards. That's all I did all morning, until Rachel crept into my room, got into bed with me and held me close whilst I sobbed into her silk lingerie. No words were spoken, but I knew that Rachel had forgiven me. Hopefully she wouldn't bare too much of a grudge for what I was about to do.

I told dad I had flu, which Rachel didn't challenge (she probably thought it was my excuse to skip boxing because of my heartache; if only) and they both left me, playing the invalid, suffocating in a duvet and several blankets. When I heard the door close for the second time, I slid out of bed and sat at my desk.

I switched my desk lamp on but I didn't need to; the stark, late morning sun scorched my paper, illuminating my childlike scrawl, the words I thought I'd never have to say flowing onto the page. It was like I was committing suicide, or something. Like I'd never see them again. This isn't permanent, I need to remember that. I can come back when I'm 18, and so can Calum. I can see everyone again. I will see everyone again.

I found some envelopes in a draw in dad's office, and I sealed the letters within them, one, two, three, four, stacked up in my hand. The paper was restless within my fingers, and it was almost a relief to set one down in dad's office, one on Rachel's bed, and to silently slip out of my house, the latch clicking in place as I sped down the path clutching the last two envelopes.

Ashton's house wasn't as far as I thought, and even though his letter was for Luke and Michael, too, I thought it was best to give it to the most responsible of the three. Slipping it through his rusted letterbox, I barely noticed the 'to let' sign that pierced the front yard of his flats, displaying his number.

I took out my phone before I delivered the last letter, caressing it in the palm of my hand before finally plucking up the courage to click onto my mum's profile and call her. She picked up the phone just as I was approaching my destination, the final letter clinging, slightly crumpled in my sweaty grasp. I watched as it fell through the letterbox of the person I regretted leaving behind the most; my best friend, the person who I felt happy with.

"I love you, Calum," I muttered, after my mother ended the call, deeply satisfied with the conversation we'd just had. I shook my head and started walking home, where I would pack my bag and leave the town I had grown to love so deeply before my sister and dad arrived home.

-

short BUT imma write what Cas wrote in the letters for u so imma do that shit now,,!!!!2!!

i luh u and thx for bein active

i started skl and it's really not helping w/// sleep and as u probs no abt me by now i have a fuked up sleeping pattern so,,!!1!!2!1! luh u skl,,!!

but 4 reel i am takin french, spanish, music ++ history as my choices aND GET DIS i had 2 take history even tho i hate it,,!!!! so i couldn't take art!!,,,,!!! fu?!,!,?,.?,

but im also takin all 3 sciences ((@ me die y u do dis,??,,?)), english, maths, IT (boo af) RE an 2 more subjects but i can't remember wat lmao

so my lyfe suxx atm so slow af updates srry,,!,!,!!!!2!2!!!!1! but i will try :))

my question: what books/ fanfics are ur favs??

books//

i luv divergent, hp, the gone series, of mice and men ++ the accident but i also luv comics if u follow my tumblr u will know lmao im /pullpfiction gotta get that self promo tho

and fanfics//

i luv jump // malum (but i think the writer deleted it oh) secrets // drarry (it's on ao3 is sooooooo good!!!! read it!!!!! now!!!!!!!) an blind // muke tbh i think every1and their mom has read that fic

if u can recommend anything let me know,,!!!!,!,!,!!22!! also comment ur favs too so i can read them bc rEAdiNg,,!!!,!!

xxx