r.e.m

exchange.

Date: December 17th
Time: 1:19 PM
Location: Blaze's Apartment

"We used to lay up and then stay up, have sex and then blow dank
I shouldn't have played no games with you, just leveled-up my rank."

It was almost one-thirty, and I stood in front of the mirror for what felt like the tenth time, tugging nervously at the edge of my sleeve. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to make a good first impression at a place where everyone knew exactly why I was there, but it did. It mattered to me. This mattered.

"You ready?" Blaze called softly from the doorway.

I glanced up, startled by his quiet arrival. He leaned against the doorframe, car keys dangling loosely from his fingertips, his expression guarded but calm. His eyes traveled slowly down my figure for just a second longer than usual, lingering on my body in a way he hadn't done in weeks. Heat rose to my cheeks when I noticed, but the moment our eyes met, Blaze quickly looked away, clearing his throat lightly as if he was embarrassed.

"Yeah," I said quietly, trying not to let my voice give away how much his brief gaze had affected me. "I'm ready."

Blaze nodded slowly, stepping back into the hallway without another word. I followed after him, pulling in a steadying breath as we moved toward the front door. Even if he hadn't meant to, that one stolen glance made me feel good; reminding me I was still someone he wanted, even with all our broken pieces.

The ride was quiet, comfortable enough, though I could still feel the careful space Blaze put between us. Occasionally, I caught his eyes flickering sideways at me, quick and cautious. I sat there wondering what he was thinking, but neither of us spoke. The soft music coming from the radio filled the silence gently, masking how loud my heartbeat felt in my ears.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the recovery center, Blaze shifted in his seat, finally breaking the silence. "How you feel?" He asked, voice low, eyes carefully searching mine.

"Honestly?" I swallowed, forcing myself to meet his steady gaze. "I'm scared as hell but I want this."

Blaze nodded slowly, his expression softening a little, the guarded wall briefly lowering. "You got this." He paused, then quietly added, "I'll be right here when you're done."

The quiet sincerity in his voice warmed something deep in my chest. "Thank you," I whispered, meaning it fully.

As I stepped out of the car, I glanced back just once. Blaze was watching me still, careful and quiet, the look on his face more open than I'd seen in days. I gave him a small, grateful smile, which he returned softly, almost hesitantly, before I turned away and moved toward the building, feeling just a little bit stronger.

The moment I stepped through the door, I felt my nerves kick in full force. The lobby was bright, calm, and welcoming even but still, my anxiety rattled restlessly in my stomach, making it hard to breathe properly.