My Life In Your Eyes *SELFUNBOUND*

Chapter 2

The ride home was quite. Country music was playing in the back ground, which made it even harder for me to hide my tears that were threatening to push their way out. Country music can be so depressing. This feeling came with the realization that if I really care about Braxton, I will have to leave him alone.

Seeing how I spend every free moment of my life with him, seeing how he is not only my best friend, but my only real friend, my whole life was about to be turned upside down.

I couldn't get out of the car fast enough.

"I'll be here in the morning for our walk around the pond" He put the car in park as he spoke to me.

I turned to get out, "Pop the trunk Brax, so I can get my bags okay" no matter what I refused to look at him in the face. I knew if I did, I would have a complete mental break down.

I heard the trunk pop as I pulled myself to my feet. I shut the door without saying a word.

Just a few more minutes Addy, I repeated over and over in my head, hold it together, just a few more minutes.

My chest is on fire. I felt like screaming. I felt like someone had died... and I haven't even been away from him yet.

I grabbed the bags out of the back, "I can't go walking tomorrow, and I have plans with mom." I strained to keep my voice straight.

"Oh, well... text me when you get done and I'll come over and take you for your hair cut." he was looking at me in the rear view mirror.

I was pulling my famous Addy move- Hiding my face behind my long brown hair. I was more than sure I was pale, and my eyes had to be blood shot. Braxton knows me better than anyone, even my parents. I tried to quickly reach up and put my hair behind my ear and look at him to tell him bye. If I didn't he would get out and confront me... and I would break down.

"I will Brax, Bye" I shut the trunk and took off up the side walk to my house.

When I heard his car rev up and take off down the street, I almost didn't make it to the steps before I let the waves of grief rush through me. I dropped the bags, not caring about anything in them, clutched my chest, scared I was going to explode, and sobbed.

Why am I so hurt? Why do I feel so lonely? I knew this day was coming. I have expected it for years. And to be honest with you, I wouldn't have blamed him if he had been the one to call our friendship off years ago.

He spends his days defending me at school. He spends his nights with me, out of pity for me, I am sure, I take up his whole life. If he wasn’t going to be the one to step up to the plate, and live his life, I was going to do it for him. No matter how bad it hurt me to do it.

I sat on the steps for several hours, long after the tears had subsided. I leaned up against the brick wall that sits on either side of our stairs, starring out into nothing.

I imagined how Braxton’s life was going to change. The friends he would have. The sports he would play the parties he would attend. The life he would finally begin to live. The one he deserves. The hardest thing to imagine was the girls he would date.

Then I began to think about how my life would change. I will have to take the bus in the mornings and afternoons. I will have to change where I eat my lunch, the halls I walk, and passing our normal meeting places, for him to protect me on my way to classes. I will have to study in the library; find new places to visit that Braxton would never think to look for me.

I will be utterly alone. The tortures will triple. What about the simple fact that I will not see Braxton anymore. I will not have his protection, his affection, or his attention anymore. I will not have the one single person that I have always had in my life. This will be the hardest thing I have ever done.