My Life In Your Eyes *SELFUNBOUND*

Chapter 8

I am sitting by the pool. I have my legs dangling in. It's so hot. The cool water feels good.

The last few days have gone by so fast, and things have gotten so weird around here.

Jennifer and the cheerleaders have been to my house twice. They went swimming. You can imagine there is no way in hell I was getting in a bathing suit in front of them.

I don't trust them. They couldn't care less about me, but put on a really good show. I have to give them credit for that.

When Braxton isn't around, I don't exist to them. I sort of just hang around in the shadows. I listen to their conversations. I secretly want the lives they lead.

They all look perfect to me. They all have long hair in their own color. Mostly Blondie's, but out of the ten there are three brunettes; they all wear a size 3 or below. Jennifer is a 0....really? Of course, come to think of it, I don't think I have ever seen her eat anything more than an apple...ever.

They do not talk to me, but they still include me in everything... Let me explain.

In the mornings when I get to school, they usually come to my locker. They don't say a word to me; I just know to walk with them.

 They walk me to my classes. If Braxton is in those classes they all say bye before I slip into the room.

 I have all four classes with at least one of them. If Braxton is in a class with me, the cheerleader will sit with me, talk to me, I am so her best friend (sarcasm dripping like acid rain). I haven’t been able to sit with Mandi in weeks. She doesn't return my phone calls anymore. I honestly can't say that I blame her at all.

 We eat lunch together, Braxton included. So again, I am the most popular one at the table... you get my point right?

 They all have my number and text me...often. Usually its stuff like;

~party at my house 7pm... Bring Brax~

Jennifer drove me home from school a couple of times. I had to put up with Braxton’s complaints; the last time was the worst. So I walk home now. I need the exercise anyway.

I have known since the first lunch I had with the cheerleaders that Braxton is the only reason they want to hang out with me... so why does it still hurt? 

Oh and Braxton.... God Lord what a mess!

I am totally in love with him, but act as if I am not.

I want to be with him every second of the day, but act as if I don't.

I want to call him, I don't.

I want things to be the way they use to be...I am not sure it can be.

The torturing and name calling, picking and pranks have really calmed down, Because of the cheerleaders, the torturing I endure now is much worse, hands down.

I watch those girls hang all over Braxton. They text him and call him. They hang out with him when I am not around. They make him laugh and he seems really happy. Until of course he looks at me... then I see the pain. 

At least two of them walk with him to his classes, and now that I walk home from school, He usually takes Jennifer home everyday.  

Since the fight things have been different between Brax and me.  I still ride with him to school, but so does Jennifer. So I can't talk to him about much of anything. He makes her sit in the back seat and she hates that with a passion. I love it!

 I encourage him to hang out with her though... I know I sound like a contradicting crazy person...hell I feel crazy! 

I really want Brax happy, I want to see him live a normal life and enjoy every minute of it. At the same time I can't make myself stop loving him.