How to Poison Your Husband [COMPLETE! Cozy Romantasy With A Dash Of Murder]

Step 10b: ... try to avoid getting sent back to prison immediately...

Ivelle gaped at Lillian. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you," Lillian said sharply. "I thought your mum was taking you to some safe island or other. And then I go to Eirifold's room to spy on him, and who do I see but you — destroying my plans as usual! You're welcome, by the way."

"For what?"

"For saving you from being turned into a platypus!"

Ivelle glowered at her. "Where's Eirifold?"

"Where do you think he is? He's still in his room with the queen." Lillian rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. She won't kill him. She needs him for her plans."

"Sounds like another crazy murderess I know." Ivelle turned on her heel and stalked down the passage in the direction of Eirifold's rooms.

Behind her, Lillian let out a grating laugh. "My apologies. How could I forget? I'm the villain in this story. Or, perhaps, the hero. I find there is very little distinction between them anymore."

Ivelle ignored her.

"Go ahead!" Lillian called after her retreating back. "Walk into certain death! See if I care!"

Ivelle closed her eyes, sucked in a furious breath, and marched back toward Lillian, until she was inches away from her face.

She was moments away from shaking Lillian to get the truth out of her, but as she took in Lillian's appearance, the breath caught in her throat. Lillian looked nothing like the pretty, poised noblewoman who had greeted Ivelle during their lessons for the past month. Her eyes were red, the kohl around them smudged; her usually sleek hair lay in a tangled mess about her shoulders; and her silver dress was stained with dirt and grime. A bruise was starting to swell just above her left temple.

"What happened to you?" said Ivelle. "Are... are you okay?"

Lillian stared at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"Do you know what your problem is, Ivelle?" She let out a brittle laugh, which echoed through the passageway. "You're too nice. It's no wonder people take advantage of you left and right. Always thinking of others first — worrying for strangers you barely know. Poor, naïve Ivelle."

Ivelle's patience, thinly strung thanks to the many awful events of the day, finally snapped. She stormed forward and shoved Lillian against the wall. Lillian flinched, her eyes widening.

"I'm not nice," Ivelle ground out. "Well, not very nice, anyway. I'm just your average human doing her best, and I'm trying to be mindful of the fact that you've been through a ton of bad shit in your life, but you're really trying my patience right now. I don't know what lies my mum put in your head or how she's been using you, but I imagine that's fucked with your head too."

Lillian gave a hollow laugh and pushed Ivelle away with surprising force.

"Your mother has nothing to do with it. Most of this was my idea. I had it all figured out before you decided to shake things up." She stalked about the passage, her eyes flickering in the torchlight. "I was going to poison King Gorlin and Queen Ysette and Eirifold, then pin the blame on Mariel, ship her off to some remote-but-inhabited island as punishment — I'm not completely heartless — and take back Castrena in the ensuing chaos. The fewer people to oppose me, the better! Less complications to deal with later.

"But no! You had to interfere. You had to reinvent Eirifold, make him appeal to my last pangs of conscience, make me swap out his poison for the Sleeping Beauty potion at the last minute — and then you had the gall to revive him and undo my hard work! It's your fault he's not in his grave right now, and my plans are in ruins!"