Jealousy

Part 8

Y/N POV
It's been a week since I talked to Newt, and I am slowly becoming better. I find myself crying randomly at night, just thinking of Paige in Newt's arms. And the worst part about it is I haven't talked to Thomas at all since I broke up with him. I still want to be friends, but I guess it hurts him too much. I've been talking to Minho and Chuck lately, I guess you could say they're my best friends now. I have been trying to talk Minho into letting me be a Runner again, but he said that wouldn't be a good idea because Thomas is. I don't think that's really an excuse, he just doesn't want me getting hurt again..... But I'm bringing it up tonight at the meeting, I want to be a Runner again, and I plan to be. For now, I'll focus on my work, which at the moment is gardening. Newt doesn't help as much anymore, but when he does we only make small talk like, "how's your day?" "It's okay, what about yours?" He's been with Paige a lot lately, which really annoys me sometimes.
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It's been pretty lonely, but I guess I have my thoughts to keep me company. I can't say my feelings for Newt are shrinking, I think they're actually growing. I've been longing to talk to him, I guess it's just different now that I like him in more than a friend way....
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Newt's POV
I miss talking to her so much. I miss our old conversations, and our little fights when she said I was jealous of her relationship. But I guess I'm happy with Paige. She's a really nice girl, and she's beautiful....
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I can't show my feelings for y/n, and I can't break Paige's heart. I should've told y/n how I felt a long time ago, and I maybe wouldn't even have ended up with Paige. I mean, Paige is nice and all, but I know y/n is the girl for me. I need to stop thinking like this..... I'm with Paige.
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I need to talk to her, it's been two days since I even heard her voice. At the moment I'm laying on my hammock, Paige to the left of me with my arm around her. I slightly wiggle out from under her, and unwrap my arm from around her head. I sit up in the hammock, and slowly stand up so I don't rock it. I walk toward the gardens, looking for any sign of y/n. As I approach, I see her planting in a newly dug hole, carefully reapplying the loose dirt over the root. "Hey," I smile as I stand in front of her, leaning on a shovel planted in the soil. "Hey," she says giving a small smile, lifting her head from her work. "How's working in the gardens?" I ask, trying to start a conversation. "It's okay, I guess. I won't be working here for long though," she smirks.
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"Why do you think that?"
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"Because I'm going to be a Runner again," a smile tugs at the corner of her mouth, but my expression turns cold. "What? You can't be a Runner again." Her smile disappears, and turns into an annoyed look. "Wait, who said I can't?" She stands from her squatting position, and crosses her arms. "I did, I said you're not allowed to be a Runner. I'm Second in Command, I have a say in this decision just as much as Alby does. I'm not letting you." I couldn't risk her getting hurt again, I couldn't risk losing her. Tears form in the corner of her eyes, and her head drops to the ground. "Y/n, I'm sorry. But I can't let-"

"Can't let me what Newt? Get hurt? I can handle myself! I don't need you, or anybody! I'm perfectly fine by myself!" Her voice rises to a shout by the last sentence, and I am taken back. "Y/n I-"

"Save it, Newt. I can't believe you don't think I can do this. I can't believe I actually missed you, and actually cared for you when you don't give a damn. If you cared about me you would let me do this." Tears flow down her cheeks, tear after tear, an unending pattern. "I do care, and that's why I can't let you do this! Why can't you see that?" I yell, stepping toward her. "Well go find someone else to care for. Like your girlfriend Paige! I'm sure she needs attention, since that's all you have been worried about the past week!"