"Yo Bee, pass me the mozzarella sticks!" Parker shouts at me from across the table, drawing lots of attention and eyes from the other table. Maddie smacks him on the arm with a mock frown, and Parker chuckles and takes the mozzarella sticks from my waiting hand.
"So Bee, tell us your story," says Maddie, scooting in her chair and leaning closer.
"There's not much to tell..." I reply, knowing I have a pretty boring life.
"Come on, Bee. Please?" Jordan asks with green puppy eyes and poking me in the side. I sigh and start to tell them my unimpressive backstory.
"Well, when I was younger, my family was much happier. My parents were a happy couple, and I was a cheeky little toddler. I did okay in school, had a few friends, parents divorced. Kyle and Fran, my two nerd companions back in Australia. Man do I miss them. And..." I trail off, thoughts wandering to my one and only big relationship back in Aussie.
"And who?" Amber asks me, raising her eyebrows at my falter in words.
"Mason." Mason was my boyfriend in Australia, who I would consider my first lost love. I nearly thought we would last, until I came to terms that I'd be moving across the Earth.
-=-
"Bee! Can we at least try to keep our relationship together?" Mason screams, grabbing my wrist as I try to walk away.
"I don't want us to hurt anymore! I can't deal with us being together while we're thousands of miles apart, falling in love with other people and drifting apart. I want this to end in the high of us being together!"
"Bee, are you you crazy? What kind of high point is this if we're fighting and sad and angry and you're leaving me here forever?"
"I don't want to end by falling in love with someone else, feeling guilty, dealing with falling out of love with you while we're still together, dealing with the possibility of someone else!"
"Don't you trust me?" he asks, hurt prominent in his eyes.
"I don't trust myself."
-=-
"Some sort of boyfriend?" Graser interrogates me, and I can see Jordan with furrowed eyebrows and a red expression.
"Ex-Boyfriend. Didn't end too well, I didn't want to hurt from the long distance relationship."
"Oh, okay." I swear I can hear a small sigh of relief come from where Jordan is sitting, making the corners of my lips turn up slightly.
"My parents fell out of love before that, fighting constantly and then divorcing a bit back, about a month before we moved here. Dad still lives in Australia, but mum decided to move here because of her job."
"Hm. Cool, except all the bad stuff," Graser states, while Parker punches him in the arm.
"No duh, dude. Shut up."
"Aw Parky you know you love me," he says, hugging the other boy by the side.
"Graser, I'm pretty sure that's your girlfriend Stacy over there, not here by Maddie," Ryan points out, and there's a ring of collective chuckles. I laugh to myself but I still feel a little bitter from recalling the final fight I had with Mason. I don't really want another relationship to end like that, with crying and screaming and shattering. I think that's mildly where my anxiety started showing up afraid to trust people and let them in, so them and I wouldn't get hurt in the end. A wave of panic washes over me, realizing that I'm letting a whole group of people in, allowing possible tragedies with the equal positive friendship and memories. Someone squeezes my hand in theirs, and no surprise: it's Jordan, who realized my shallow and quick-paced breaths among everyone talking and cracking jokes.
I squeeze his hand back, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths as his small actions calm me down.
"You okay Bee?" He asks me, looking at me with concern. I am pathetic, honestly. I can't keep myself together. I give my best effort to calm down and pull my emotions together. I will not be weak today.
"I'm fine, thanks. Just got a little overwhelmed," I answered. I am going to be okay today. I will let them in, I demand myself in my head.
The rest of dinner is spent joking around with each other, laughing with our faces stuffed with pizza. At around 10:00, Stacy goes and grabs all of our attention by getting Graser to yell up his random babbling.
"Okay, yes, everyone! If you'd all like to call your parents, we're going to all be sleeping over at my house after this! We'll have the same carpooling and everything but it'll just take a bit longer cause of the packing and stuff. Waiter? We'll have the check."
I call mum on my cell phone, anticipating her to yell at me when I tell her I'm staying over at Stacy's house.
"Mum?" I asked.
"Who else did you expect it to be when you called me? What do you need?"
"My friends are gonna drop me off but I was wondering if I could stay at Stacy's house with the rest of them? I swear I'll be good and Stacy's parents are probably going to be there-" I start to plead but Mum cuts me off.
"Sure, sure Bee but don't expect me to be able to give you a ride home from there. Just make sure I know the address," She told me in a stern voice. "And no hands on that Jordan boy of yours," my protective mother adds after a second thought.
"Mum! He's not my 'Jordan boy' or whatever! Jesus Christ, can't hang out with one boy without it turning into 'you're secretly dating.' Anyways, love you. I'll give you the address later."
"Okay sweets. Be careful and have fun, not too much." And with that, I hang up before she changes her mind about anything.
"So we're not secretly dating, huh?" Someone whispers in my ear, making me jump in my seat and narrow my eyes at the obvious culprit, who smiles at me innocently.
"Thought that was made clear with the discussion earlier, Jor."
"Sure it was, Babe."
YOU ARE READING
Shatter
Fanfiction"This is the story of how we fell apart." Bee is a new Australian student, attending therapy every Wednesday for her social anxiety. Quiet and alone, she meets Jordan one day when his session is rescheduled. Quickly becoming her first friend after t...
