Breaking Apathy

Chapter 10: Who's who?

PLEASE ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!

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“The field appeared again, but the grass shades of blue.

I was older now but I wasn’t me, I was you.

I looked at my husband, I looked at my child,

and I felt a tingle of love which was barely mild.

‘Mistakes’ I thought – a statement that may be true,

But I’ll never know ‘cause this dream is just me being you.”

Darkness – that was what I opened my eyes to. The ceiling was vaguely visible with the meagre beams of sun that filtered through my curtains, but it was nonetheless familiar. The blankets were recognizable as well as I moved them off me to reposition myself on to my elbows. I concluded that it was my room after knowing every item I set my eyes on. A sigh deflated my chest and caused a horrible surge of pain to rush through my head. I’d have grabbed my head instantly if I didn’t feel a phantom weight of fatigue. This should be what they call a hangover. I blinked away the brief ache and refocused on my curtains. The light behind them made a hazy glow shimmer through the thin white sheets. Surely it was morning. I slowly turned and tossed to check my phone to second my assumption. 05.00.  I’m thirty minutes earlier than usual in my waking. My body would have loved a little more rest but I didn’t permit it. I just remembered that I’d left my homework at school and I didn’t want any of this to affect my performance at school. It’s silly of me to think such I guess but I don’t need this nonsense to affect everything. I’m still here and I have to study. I firmly grabbed the blankets and yanked them off me only to re-cover myself a second after.

“N-naked?” I whispered to myself in shock.

My hands roamed my chest to confirm – which sadly, the fact was true. SOMEONE STRIPPED ME TO MY BIRTHDAY SUIT! I groaned and really tried to remember last night. The effort was futile sadly, so I just hoped nothing else happened. My second attempt of getting out was more hesitant as I sat up and placed my feet on the ground. It felt so unusual to walk naked but I guess it’s unavoidable. No day seems to be the same as the other of late. I sighed and went about my morning routine.

Bathing, brushing teeth, changing in to uniform, making breakfast – I did it all in ample time. I attached a small note to the plate covering the rest of the breakfast before I walked out the house. Usually dad would drop us off, but under the circumstances, I’m going to have to use cycle power. The girls may stay home another day or the cop will take them. They got good work attitudes so I trust their decision. I found my tossed bike and picked it up, sitting on it with a palpable loss of balance. I still wasn’t fully awake maybe. 05:20. I have to push through this and get there early to do stuff, I chanted like a mantra before pushing off and starting the cycle round my yard before exiting. My limbs still felt heavy, so the ride consumed more energy than it should have. I’ll never drink again!

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The school premise was opened at five daily as Casper inform me. I ran in to him by the gate as he was doing his rounds for maintenance check. He was in charge of cleaning the grounds, the other janitors and the like so it was no surprise to see him there. Luckily, he knew majority of the students well, so I wasn’t turned away for arriving so early. I had to give him a reason though, which was the obvious – I left my satchel in the lockers.

Ten  minutes after that, I was seated in my class – which Casper helped open for me – with my books sprawled out on the table and my eyes wandering from text book to text book and exercise book to exercise book. I had covered some of the chapters during our short break from school so I only had English to deal with and a little bit of Biology. My stomach started turning and making growls that I ignored and felt. I had no focus on work what so ever, which was an absolute first. I bite my thumb and cursed softly as I struggled with this. I am never drinking ever! Who finds pleasure in this? Ugh, I can’t even see clearly! I…. wait… my shirts not buttoned properly.  I dropped my pen and unbuttoned all my buttons to realign them. That was a very rare thing to happen to me and right now, I‘ve been having a lot of rare moments. Once I was finished, I left the shirt untucked and grabbed my pen again. I’d never do that on a regular basis, but right now I just felt like I couldn’t be bothered to take my extra measures. Alright, back to English… Um… did I even start?