The star is mine (completed)

XXVIII: Beautiful mind

(Go listen to beautiful mind by xdinary heroes)

Wooyoung's POV

We're back in the car. I'm safe. San's safe. But I'm still scared. We still haven't found my sister and I'm much further away from the truth than I ever was.

I have so many questions right now, but I start by picking out the one that comes to mind first.

'Why were those men here, and how did they know where we were?'

'I told them beforehand where we were going, and if they didn't hear from me half an hour after we arrived, they'd come and look for us.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I didn't want you to lose hope. I didn't want to lose hope myself either, but I was too scared something would happen, so I took safety measures'

'Why would your brother do something like that?', I'm just firing every question I have at him, a desperate attempt at learning the truth.

'He wanted revenge', San responds. His tone is dark and painful, it hurts to listen to.

'For what? What did you do to him?'

'He was stealing my dad's money, not realizing I was at home. I called my dad, not thinking he'd pick up, but he did, and he heard the whole conversation I had with Jongho. He got home immediately, and Jongho got scared. Killed him'

'And so he kept blaming you?'

'I assume Lily left him because he's a murderer, if I wouldn't have called him, Jongho would've just left without the money'

He keeps explaining what happened that day, and it all starts to make a bit of sense. The only thing I can't seem to figure out is how someone could kill his own father so mercilessly, and blame someone else for it.

I'm still worried about Lily though, what if he did something to her?

'I just want to know if my sister is safe'

'We'll find her', he promises, but I don't even know if I trust that promise anymore. So much could have happened, and we know so little.

'How can you be so sure of that?'

'Because I'll never give up on trying to make you happy. I want to do this one thing for you, together with you, and I'm not going to stop until we made it. Even if it's the last thing I'll ever do.'

And suddenly, I believe every word he says again, but in the back of my mind, I know I shouldn't. The chance we'll just lose her again is too big, and I don't want to get my hopes up like I did today, just to get them crushed again.

I should've known it was too easy.

Hannah just giving me her address with no questions asked, after avoiding me for so long? But I still wonder why she would lead us here, right into Jongho's trap.

'Do you trust me?', San asks, all of the sudden.

'Of course, why?'

'I can see you're doubting me'

I feel caught, as if he read my mind.

'I-', I hesitate, 'I'm not doubting you, I'm doubting the fact we'll find her if we don't have a single clue about where she might be right now'

'We can talk to Jongho again, maybe we can get something out of him. You didn't think we'd just let him go, did you?'

'Where is he?'

'He's still in the same room, probably tied to the same chair as we were'

'Will he tell us anything? Does he even know where she is?'

'If he knows anything at all, we'll get it out of him, I promise'

I feel kind of bad about it, even though he's done the same to us. I don't want to see anyone else get hurt and I'm so damn tired of the whole mafia thing. I don't want San to be the monster that he was when we met again.

Or maybe he still is. People don't change that easily.

I immediately feel guilty for even thinking of him that way for a second. I can see the sincerity in his eyes, he wants to help me, and he's serious about what he's saying.

I think. Or he's manipulating me.

Don't think that, Wooyoung, I tell myself, and turn back to San.

He puts his hand on my lap to try and comfort me, and the butterflies make all of the doubts I have about him disappear.

I love him, and nothing is going to change that.

'Please don't hurt him', I say to be sure.

He's quiet for a second, as if he didn't expect me so say that, 'I won't hurt anyone', he says, 'But why do you even care whether he's safe or not'

'I don't want anyone to go through the things I did, not even Jongho. I'm tired of all of your mafia shit', it came out faster and louder than I thought.

I've hurt him.

He goes silent, a little bit paler, and I know he regrets what he's done to me now more than ever. I didn't mean to say something like that, I didn't mean to hit him that deep.

'I'm sorry', he whispers, barely audible, but the words go right through me, as if they stabbed me in the heart.

'I- didn't mean to...'

He's holding back tears, fighting demons.

I feel so guilty for what I just said, but I don't know what to do. I just sit there, looking at San, trying to figure out something I can say to make him feel better. I can't.

I hug him instead, and the way his arms wrap around me makes me feel once again how fragile he actually is.

That man isn't a monster. He can't be.

'I'm so sorry', he whispers again, I hold him tighter, the warm embrace lasting for minutes.

Only after those few minutes, when I pull back, I notice the tears in his eyes.

'If you knew we were going to be saved, why would you tell your brother you'd die for me? He could've killed you'

He doesn't say anything, the tears now slowly rolling down.

He kisses me instead. Slow and tender, and it says more than words ever could.