Escape To Space

Shattering

I place my head beneath the pillow

Closing my eyes

Suffocating on my tears

Listening to my fears

Running through my head

I don't know what I want

In this crazy world known as life

I just know I'm hurting

So much inside

It's just eating me alive

And one day

There won't be any of me left

To be eaten

To be devoured 

 People tell me to smile

As if smiling is going to take

Away the hurt and pain

The self  hurt I inflict on myself

With the razor

Or with my words every day

I've tried smiling away the pain

Did my best to hide my sorrows and cover my sadness

With the smiles I wear as a mask

But I've learned

That when it hurts this much

Your heart always has a way of showing it

No matter how many masks I wear

Upon my face

I know what it feels like to want to die

To take your own life

Get the world out of the way

How it hurts for me to smile

When I just want to cry

How I've tried to fit in

To be liked

To not to be teased

I hurt myself on the outside

To try to kill what's going on the inside

I know it seems like I'm strong

With my jokes

My laughs

And my smiles

But inside I'm fragile

I've had so many things thrown my way

And each one has left a crack

And I'm close to shattering