me to me | morgan fallen {on hold}

grow up

Morgan slowly pulled away as he played with her hair, as if he was walking on thin ice.

"Tell me what to do," he said.

Kat couldn't help but look him straight in the eyes— all the missed calls, the longing to hear him call her name — it all was flooding back to her. "Grow up".

He didn't move. He didn't speak. Kat bundled herself up slightly in her blanket as she watched him impatiently. He didn't argue or storm out like she had expected, he stood there as if an emotion was evoked.

"No one has ever told me that like that," he said. "Except my mom".

She looked at him with a series of emotions — disbelief and confusion. Her arms crossed tightly across her chest as her nails dug at her sleeves. "Maybe no one had the guts".

He gave a dry chuckle to her remark, "I might've been too drunk".

Kat didn't laugh. She didn't even find it funny in the slightest.

Morgan exhaled sharply, his voice slightly raised as he ran his hand through his hair. "You don't think I know that I fucked up? Kat. You think I don't lie in bed on the bus some nights and scroll through old photos of us to feel some part of you?".

Kat was caught off guard by the confession. "You could've if you called. If you didn't start giving everyone else your feelings except me. The one person you were meant to be in this for. Share your feelings with". Kat had snapped, not out of sadness but frustration and tiredness.

"I want to be the one for you Katrina" he swallowed.

Kat's eyes felt heavy as her body felt worn out. Part of her wanted to go out and talk to her friends but she knew they were probably asleep. As much as she wanted to resolve it, she knew it was going nowhere. "I just want to sleep," her voice croaked as she made her way under the covers as he watched.

Pulling the comforter to the side, she sighed and patted next to her. This would have to be continued tomorrow.

Waking up felt like a hangover even though they didn't drink, just a draining feeling. Kat woke up tangled in her sheets with his arms around her. She inhaled softly taking in the faint scent of his cologne not trying to stir him awake.

Morgan laid peacefully, as if he hadn't slept in days. In this moment, Kat was anything but mad— it was what she had dreamt about having these past few weeks. Sitting up slowly, Kat brushed her hair with her fingers as the sunlight seeped through the curtains.

Morgan stirred before proceeding to wake up. "You stayed," he groggily said before yawning.

Kat felt her stomach turn from the slight rasp in his voice as she held herself together. "You stayed," she corrected him as she propped herself up and swung her legs around the bed.

He sat up rubbing the back of his neck, "Last night... I just thought...".

"I listened," she cut in. "Doesn't mean it is fixed".

Her walls were being built back up, brick by brick.

"Morgan. Why did it take us falling apart for you to come back?" she nearly wanted to cry at her own words.

"I didn't come to fight Katrina," he said keeping his voice low, making her head snap.

"This is what relationships look like. Sometimes it demands you things you can't give" she snapped.

Silence followed once again. This time it felt worse.

His face crumpled, and for once she saw. He tried to mask it — ran his hand through his hair and not making eye contact. But the damage was there, deep down inside it stung.

"Tell me to leave," his voice croaked.

Kat froze.

"Tell me to leave," he softly said making eye contact. "And I will".

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Her breath hitched as her eyes watered, but she couldn't cry. Instead she stayed quiet.

Morgan slowly grabbed his hoodie and walked to her bedroom door. Pausing before grabbing the handle, he took a look at Kat. "You were always going to ruin me. I was always going to be the problem".

And with that he was gone.