With You I'm Home

You keep leaving me

Jackson and April talk. Set after 11x24

Jackson sat on the couch in the living room. His mother just got married yesterday and he had the day off. He clicked on the TV but was not paying attention. His marriage was over, his best friend was leaving him, again. But this time they were not only friends.

They were husband and wife, almost mom and dad. They were so close, yet so far. They lost their child over a year ago, they both changed. He understood that she needed to grieve, but she completely dismissed him. She never asked him how he was handling the loss of their son.

The answer was terribly, he just wanted to hold his wife and have her tell him everything was going to be okay. For her to be there for him. Not run away when he needed her the most.

The loss of his mentor was one thing, but the loss of his son. Being so close to having a combination of him and the love of his life in this world, was a whole new category of loss.

His wife was going to leave, he knew what she was going to choose. This was not a debate, he wouldn't compromise. He couldn't stand not knowing if she was okay every night. He couldn't stand not knowing if the last conversation they had, was truly their last. He couldn't go through that stress again.

It was him, or her calling. He knew the anwser, and it was not in his favor.

So he stood up, he walked to their bedroom and grabbed all of his suitcases. He laid them on his bed in line. He was going, he didn't know where, but, did it matter. He could talk to his mom, Bailey, or Webber could take over the head of the board. He could move to Florida or Utah, it didn't matter. He had to leave Seattle, the place where he met his wife,  fell in love with her.

Jackson opened his dresser and started throwing clothes in the suitcases. He went to the bathroom and packed his travel bag with his toothbrush and razor. He put that in a suitcase, then went to the closet to grab more of his clothing. The first article of clothing hung in the closet was April's wedding dress and Jackson's tux. They never washed either of them.  Every wrinkle from the long car ride still visible on the fabric.

He grabbed a piece of the skirt, the dress looked gorgeous on her. It hugged all the right places and was very her. He balled the material in his hand. He wished he could start over. He didn't regret marrying her, but couldn't he restart their marriage, without all the mistakes. He took advantage of what he had when he had it. Treasure her more, hold her every chance he had.

Their child being Christian would certainly not be a big deal, knowing how much faith April put in God. Knowing how he hurt her when he called her ridiculous for her faith. Jackson thought about when he and April preformed the wedding ceremony for the paramedics, he always thought that the words he said fit his marriage as well. The long wavering path had got the best of them.

Jackson shook his head, he grabbed a few hangers with clothing and carried them to the suitcases. He turned around and almost jumped when he saw someone standing in the doorway.

"You were really serious about what you said huh?"

Jackson sighed, "are you here to get your stuff?"

April shook her head, "no."

"Then what are you doing here?" He sat down on their bed in defeat.

"I'm not going back to the army. I'm here to fight for you." April said, "Arizona and I talked all night, she told me how much of mess you were this past year with everything, and I am so sorry."

Jackson looked up at her, "is that what changed your mind?"

"My mind was not made," April stepped closer to him. "The army was not my only calling. You're my calling Jackson, when you stood up at my wedding, that was my calling."

"You keep leaving me," Jackson whispered. "Just when I need you the most."

April stopped closer, "I'm so sorry Jackson, I can live without going back there. I'll figure that out, but one thing I cannot lose is you. I could never survive that loss. It's always been you, Jackson, you are the only calling I need in my life." She whispered standing in front of him. "So why don't we unpack those bags, because I'm not going anywhere, neither are you. And if you are, I'll be right by your side."

Jackson placed his hands on her waist, he leaned closer and quickly bit his lip before passionately capturing April's lips in his. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck grabbing onto her wrist to pull him as close to her as possible.

She squealed when he lifted her up, his hand resting just above her knee. April stopped for a second, she looked him in his eye and smiled, "I love you." She rested one hand on her elbow and her other hand rested on his shoulder her fingers gently grazing his neck. "I'll never leave you again."

Jackson caressed her cheek with his hand, "good."