the best way to be ruined

a pubic apology of an overly attached lover

You always say I'm jealous. Yes. I see every girl as a threat. It doesn't matter if she's pretty or fat or nerdy. It doesn't matter she's still a girl and you will find something in her that will make you interested. No. Don't tell me I don't trust you. I do, okay. I do! But jealousy doesn't just revolves around this thing you call trust. To tell you frankly, I am not only like this with girls. Even your bros, sometimes I secretly hate them. I know that sounds ridiculous! I lay in bed and drown myself with pillows because I'm sick of it, too. I'm sick of suffocating you. I love you and I'm jealous of everyone you meet and will meet. I'm jealous of the people on the train because they get to look at you for a while. I'm jealous of the flowers because they don't feel this way towards the bees or the sunlight. They are just there blooming and withering and nobody gives a fuck. My friends call me pathetic and I call my mother every time you leave and calls her again each time you come back because she has to know how sad or delighted I am every single time. I love you and I'm so sorry it's so hard to love me. I'm so sorry I love you so much it's not right anymore. Forgive my jealousy, my insecurity, my soft. I don't have any idea how to love you right but I know it's wrong if I don't. Just please be patient with me. I will always be jealous. I will always stay.