Rats, Roses And Paper Bones

chapter 36: 'I forgive you'

"Look here, miss, keep it in mind that if you repeat this class, you won't be fit to be called my daughter again!"

I looked back on hearing those words, my right hand still clutching the knob of my room door.
Was it already established that I was a dissapointent?
I hadn't done anything wrong yet, but I was already a disappointment.
It had been decided, finalised, and digested.
Nothing good could come out of a child like me.
I didn't have to try and be perfect because I was always going to disappoint, no matter what I did.
I had been chasing the wind all these years.

"Honey, please!". My mom yelled, standing right beside my raging father.

I looked at my mom closely. This wasn't the first time this was happening. That was why my mom knew, especially what to do and what to expect in a situation like this.
She wasn't surprised or caught off guard. She was merely fed up.

I shifted my gaze from my mom to my dad. Looking at him closely, I could feel a lot of hatred bubbling within me, building up slowly till the day it would pop or explode. I had to keep it in. I had to work on it. Hatred was a sin. But at this point, it seemed like it was out of control. It made me decide there, and then that I would give up on trying to get along with him and learning to love him.

"What are you staring at, young lady?". He said with a questioning look.

"You know, things will be a lot better if you learned to trust a little bit more." It took a lot of courage to mutter those words. There would be consequences for talking back, but it was the right thing to do. Someone just had to tell him.

I stomped into my room, closing the door forcefully behind me.

That night, I cried and cried on my bed till my silk pillow covers were soaked with tears.
I kept questioning God, asking him why he had to give me such a father when he himself was not like that.
Then, it got to a point where I started to blame myself.
Maybe I was just too problematic
Everything just had to go wrong when it came to me.

"Dear God, I'm going to give up trying." I said to the hearing of the one person who understood and my eyes closed in deep sleep.

My eyes opened moment later and a bright light shone into into them, making me close them back instantly.

I opened them again, this time with my palm as a shield..

It was the sun. The sun was shining brightly on a large expanse of land. Seashells plastered on the ground filled with white sand, seagulls singing in the distance and something that sounded like waves of water echoing.

I looked around and the ocean looked back at me. I was at the beach.

"Haha! I got you!." A Man's voice yelled from behind, making my heart skip in fear.

I turned back abruptly, thinking I was the one being spoken to.

My dad's deep brown eyes met mine in an instance and I froze in place. Where was this place? What was my dad doing here? Was this a dream?

Without further ado, he lounged towards me in an attempt to catch me but I quickly pulled away, my body thudding on the sand.

I groaned in pain and sat up. I looked towards him.

He looked.... different. His face had this glow that i couldnt explain. He was laughing whileheartedly and his smile looked genuine for the very first time. He looked like he had no care in the world. He was hardly recognizable.

Was this some sort of alternate universe??

He had a little child in his hands whom he was tickling ever so gently, making the child giggle and laugh very excitedly.