Rats, Roses And Paper Bones

Chapter 8: Doomsday

Doomsday had arrived.
The sun seemed brighter than usual. My heart was beating faster than usual. Even the air felt different.
Everything felt... unusual.
And I didn't like it.
Today was the day our departmental placements would be announced.
I skipped breakfast.
Not intentionally, exactly. I just couldn't bring myself to eat. Every bite felt like a lump of metal travelling down my throat.
Eventually, I pushed my plate towards Victoria.
She stared at me.
“Are you sure you're okay?”
“Yeah. I'm just nervous.”
I grabbed a bottle of water and swallowed almost half of it in one go.
“A little nervous?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow.
I shrugged.
“Okay, maybe a lot.”
She laughed.
“You'll be fine.”
I wished I could believe her.
During morning assembly, I could barely concentrate.
All I could think about was the list.
What if my name wasn't there?
What if I'd failed?
What would I do?
At one point, I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot to stand properly during the national anthem.
“Stand straight!”
The teacher beside me hissed.
I immediately straightened up.
“Sorry, ma.”
I kept my eyes forward for the rest of the assembly.
But my mind was already somewhere else.
After assembly, instead of joining the other students who were eagerly waiting around the departmental blocks, I escaped to the library.
It was one of the tallest buildings in the school, with rows of tall wooden shelves arranged according to different genres and subjects.
I found a quiet spot at the far end and picked up one of my favourite inspirational books, Don't Give Up Now.
If there was ever a time I needed that title to work its magic, it was now.
I read for about thirty minutes.
Then my eyes grew heavy.
Just for a second, I thought I'd close them.
The next thing I knew...
“It's out!”
I jerked awake.
“It's out!”
“I'm in!”
“I got into Science!”
A group of students were practically bouncing around the library.
“Shhh!”
The librarian glared at them over her glasses.
“This is a library, not a playground.”
“Sorry, ma,” they chorused.
They lowered their voices, but their excitement remained.
My heart began pounding.
The list.
I sprang to my feet and rushed out of the library.
I practically ran towards the Science block.
By the time I got there, a crowd had already gathered around the door.
There were quite a number of new students, along with the returning students whose names were also included on the list.
The paper was divided into departments, and the Science list contained fifty-two names.
I pushed my way through the crowd.
“Excuse me... sorry... please.”
Finally, I got close enough to see.
I scanned the list.
Number one.
Number two.
Number three.
My eyes moved down the page.
Nothing.
I continued.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Nothing.
Twenty.
Thirty.
Forty.
Still nothing.
I reached the bottom.
My heart sank.
No.
Maybe I'd missed it.
I started again.
Slowly this time.
I checked every single name.
Still nothing.
There must be a mistake.
I stepped away from the crowd and hurried to the Arts department.
I didn't even know why I was checking there.
Maybe because some tiny part of me was hoping my name wouldn't be on any list.
If it wasn't anywhere, then there had to be an error.
There were forty-one names.
I searched.
Nothing.
Relief washed over me for about three seconds.
Then I remembered the Commercial department.
My feet felt heavy as I walked there.
I stared at the list.
Thirty names.
I started reading.
One.
Two.
Three.
My eyes moved down.
And then I saw it.
13. Adejare, Doyin.
I froze.
No.
I stared at it again.
Maybe it wasn't my name.
Maybe there was another Doyin Adejare somewhere in Nigeria.
Unfortunately, I knew better.
My mind went blank.
I had gotten into Commercial.
Not Science.
Commercial.
I felt like the ground had shifted beneath my feet.
I couldn't believe it.
I actually hadn't gotten into the Science department.

***********

“Where are you coming from, young lady?”
My father's baritone voice brought me back to reality.
I looked up.
My forehead was covered in sweat, and a shiver ran down my spine.
“Dad...”
My eyes drifted towards the small table beside him.
There was a familiar sheet of paper sitting on it.
My report sheet.
My stomach dropped.
How did he get that?
“Mum sent me to get something, sir.”
I was still staring at the report.
“I see.”
He picked it up.
“Did you think you could hide this from me?”
“Dad, I—”
“You don't have to explain.”
He tossed the report onto the table.
“A D in Mathematics?”
I swallowed.
“The questions were really difficult this time. I tried—”
“If you needed extra lessons, you should have told your mother.”
I sighed quietly.
He probably didn't know that I already knew my parents couldn't afford a private tutor at the moment.
“I'll do better next term,” I said.
“How do I know that?”
He stared at me.
“At this rate, do you honestly think you can get into the University of Ibadan?”
I looked down.
“You're the daughter of a senior police officer, Doyin. You need to start taking your academics seriously.”
“Yes, sir.”
I could feel tears gathering in my eyes.
That was the frustrating thing about my father.
He could go for days without asking about me or showing any particular interest in what I was doing.
But whenever something went wrong—especially something that reflected on him—he suddenly wanted to take control.
“Go to your room.”
I looked up.
“And start preparing yourself to join the boarding house next session. Maybe you'll be more disciplined there.”
My heart stopped.
“The boarding house?”
“Yes.”
“Dad, please—”
“The decision has already been made.”
“But—”
“I said it's decided.”
He walked out of the living room.
I stood there for a moment before sinking onto the carpet.
Then I started crying.
Boarding school.
I couldn't believe it.
I'd heard enough stories from the boarding students about bullying, mosquitoes, seniority, midnight punishments and even ghosts to know I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.
I'd been so grateful to be a day student.
Now, after an entire year of enjoying my freedom, I was being sent into the hostel.
I had to stop him.
But apparently, I'd already lost that battle.

***********

I wandered through the classroom area feeling completely lost.
Everyone around me seemed happy.
People were celebrating their placements, comparing scores and congratulating one another.
I felt like I was the only person who had ended up in the wrong department.
My chest felt tight.
My eyes burned.
I tried to hold the tears back.
I really did.
But eventually, they started falling.
I quickly searched for an empty classroom.
I needed somewhere no one could see me.
I found one and slipped inside.
I sat down in the corner and cried.
For about twenty minutes, I let everything out.
My failed dream.
How I had disappointed once again.
Everything.
Then I heard a voice.
“Doyin?”
I looked up.
Michael stood at the doorway.
“What are you doing here?”
He stepped inside.
Then his expression changed when he saw my face.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I wiped my cheeks quickly.
“I'm fine.”
He gave me a look.
“Doyin.”
“What?”
“That doesn't work on me.”
I sighed.
He pulled out the chair beside me and sat down.
“Tell me what's wrong.”
I hesitated.
Then I told him.
Everything.
The placement.
The Commercial department.
My father.
The boarding house.
By the time I finished, my eyes were wet again.
Michael listened quietly.
When I was done, he sighed.
“I'm really sorry.”
I wiped my face.
“I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.”
“Okay.”
He thought for a moment.
“First, stop crying.”
I gave him a look.
“Wow. Great advice.”
He laughed softly.
“I mean it. Crying won't fix the problem.”
“I know.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief.
“Here.”
I stared at it.
Then at him.
“You carry a handkerchief?”
He laughed.
“Apparently.”
“Why?”
“I don't know. My mum always puts one in my pocket.”
I smiled despite myself.
“That's actually kind of cute.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Don't tell anyone.”
I dabbed my eyes with it.
Then he became serious again.
“Look, why don't you talk to the counsellor?”
I looked at him.
“She might be able to explain why they placed you in Commercial. Maybe there's something you can do.”
“I guess.”
“You should at least try.”
He stood.
“I'll let you go and talk to her.”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
He took a few steps towards the door.
Then stopped.
“And, Doyin?”
“Yes?”
He turned around.
“Cheer up.”
Then he walked away.
I stared after him.
It was such a small thing.
Just two words.
But somehow, they stayed with me.
Just like the time he'd approached me at the checking hall and offered to help me.
He barely knew me.
Yet somehow, he kept showing me kindness when I least expected it.
And for some strange reason, that mattered.
I looked down at the white handkerchief in my hands.
From that day on, I couldn't see one without thinking of Michael.
“I'm sorry, ma, but I still don't understand.”
I sat across from the counsellor, trying desperately not to cry again.
“Why was I placed in Commercial? I did well in Mathematics and General Science.”
The counsellor watched me patiently.
“Miss Adejare, I never said you didn't do well in those subjects.”
“Then why—”
“You did very well,” she continued. “But your Business Studies score was even higher.”
I frowned.
“How high?”
She smiled slightly.
“You scored 100 out of 100.”
I stared at her.
“Wait... what?”
“You didn't miss a single question.”
I groaned internally.
Oh.
So that's why.
The questions had been ridiculously easy.
I should have intentionally gotten a few wrong.
Stupid me.
“But can't you change it?”
She shook her head.
“I'm afraid it's not that simple.”
“Please, ma.”
“The placement was a joint decision. The principal is also aware of it, so changing your department now would be difficult.”
My heart sank.
No.
There had to be another way.
I clasped my hands together.
Dear God...
Please.
There has to be a solution.
“Unless...”
I looked up immediately.
My heart skipped.
“Unless what?”
The counsellor paused.
And for the first time that morning, I saw a tiny glimmer of hope.