Decision or Destiny?

Packing

With Dan
Once Dan was finally able to leave, he signed the discharge papers , agreeing to therapy twice a week, and left. He headed back to the flat that him and Phil shared in those moments of fake emotions. Dan didn't know what to think. All he could do was blame himself for not being good enough for Phil. "Phil left me. Phil never loved Me..."
Sighing, Dan walked up to the building and up the little bit of steps. Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked in. This is it. He's packing up and leaving. Leaving his life behind. Leaving his job. Leaving his house.
Leaving Phil.
Leaving everything he ever cared about.
Dan took a deep breath as he grabbed his suitcase from under his bed. He started with his drawers. Dumping all the items in it, including the fan art. Or more like, Phan art. Seeing all the drawing of Dan and Phil cuddling on the couch, made Dan's tears overflow. With tears rolling down his eyes, he put the Phan Art in the trash. Sighing again, he sat on his still bloody bed. Dan couldn't believe what has happened the past week. How did the hell, did they go from celebrating and being happy to Dan moving out and Phil still in the hospital?
"Kelsey is how."  Dan thought and instantly felt bad for it. "Kelsey has showed Phil what he deserves. He deserves better than me. Phil deserves Kelsey. Phil deserves someone who isn't screwed up completely. Phil deserves to be happy."
Dan lied down with tears still falling, taking everything in. He still has no ideal where he is going to tonight. He can't really go to anyone's house because they may let it slip that Dan is moving out. So he decided on the hotel downtown.
Dan finally stopped sobbing so he decided to get this over with. When he stood up there was a mirror in front of him. He tried not to look, knowing he'll look like hell. But he couldn't help it. Dan looked horrible. He was thin and pale and looked like he could break in half easily. His recent attempt left his wrist bright red and angry, even after a week. His eyes had bags bigger than mountains and they were bright red and swollen from crying. He looked just like how he felt.
Dead.
Inside and out.
Wonderful.
Dan bit his lip and forced himself to look away from the mirror and at the empty suitcase. Looking at the time, showed he's been crying for half an hour.
"Great. Wasting time. Wasting Phil's life. What else are you going to waste? Huh, Dan!?" Dan scolded himself aloud.
Taking a deep breath, Dan grabbed the DDR board he bought for him and Phil to play on DanAndPhilGames.
He was planning on taping their legs together to make it harder but funnier to do. He was planning on making inappropriate jokes and pretending to edit them out for Phil's sake but actually keeping them in. He was planning on laughing with Phil while doing this. He was planning on being with Phil at the least.
Dan's eyes started to water again so he put the board down. It's just going to remind him of Phil and Phil obviously didn't want to be remembered...
He bit on his lip until it bled. That's when he heard a sound from the living space. "Shit. It must be Phil... He wouldn't want to see me." Dan thought as he ran into his closet to hide, taking the suitcase with him.
After a moment of silence, Dan heard his bedroom door open. "Was Phil checking to see if I've came to get my stuff yet...?" Dan thought. After a other moment of silence, Dan heard a slight sob.
Then another.
And another.
He knew those sobs all too well. He heard them at night as he would wake up and cuddle the suppressor to make the sobs stop. He never knew why Phil would cry at night but Dan knew Phil never wanted to talk about it, so Dan would just cuddle him.
Dan heard sob after sob trying to stay quiet in the closet. After about 5 minutes of pure sobs, Dan started to hear mumbling. He pressed his ear to the door to hear what his lion was saying.
"Dan..."-lots of sobs and then again "Dan... W-Why did you have to leave m-me? I n-need you"
Dan was so confused. "What did Phil mean?! He told me to leave! I would never left unless I knew it was what he wanted!" Dan thought as he decided that if Phil needed him, he was going to be there for him. He got up and opened the closet door as quietly as possible. Walking over to the bed, his heart broke as he found Phil there with blood dripping down his arms and his face stuffed to the pillow. Phil's body was shaking from either pain of the cuts or the sobs. But Dan couldn't bare to see his love like this. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Phil, making Phil jump. Ignoring Phil's expression, Dan lied down beside Phil and held onto him tightly. Whispering "I never left you." Over and over.
Phil's jumped out of the bed and grabbed the lamp as a weapon. "W-WHAT THE FUCK?! WHA-DAN?!- NO! WHO ARE YOU? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT KIND OF SICK PRANK THIS IS? GET OUT! B-BEFORE I CALL THE AUTHORITIES!!" Phil yelled holding the lamp arm's width from his body.
"What? It's me!! It-it's Dan! You just said you needed me! But the other day, you told me to leave! Well... That's what Kelsey said at least... Philly, please believe me!! It's me!!" Dan pleaded and even gone far enough as to walk as close to Phil as he could get with getting a lamp thrown at him.
At the word "Philly" Phil's jaw dropped and he fell to the ground crying and yelling. He kept repeating "BUT YOURE DEAD!! THIS SINT REAL!! IM SEEING THINGS! THIS ISNT REAL! DAN IS DEAD!!!" He told himself more than he did Dan.
Dan's head was swarming with thoughts. "What the hell, Phil?? I'm not dead! I'm right here!! Phil!! What makes you think I'm dead?!" He thought before realizing he was saying those things aloud. Dan walked over to Phil and sat on the ground with him. He reached out and touched Phil's arm just to have Phil flinch away. Dan was so confused. He wasn't dead.....
Was he...?
Okay so this kind of led to a thing which led to another so yea. And I actually have 2 routes that this story can take... I'm not sure which I'm going to choose yet, but I'm going to try to see which turns out better by writing drafts of the story. So yea, once the book is over with the better ending, I may have an alternate ending. Y'know? Anyways, unlike a lot of ppl have been doing , I'm not going to stop writing because of school. I'm going to continue so that's good. And I have to go on a long ride tomorrow so I'll write  more to this, so be expecting another update soon.
Kk I think that's it? Don't forget to comment, vote, add to your library and all of that stuff, you wonderful people. 💖
Thanks loves!! 😊