"𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬!"
"𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐮𝐲"
in which Colby Brock(self proclaimed straight guy) finds one of their mediums hot
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𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎, 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭
irl. messages
Colby sat in front of his mirror. an unknown amount of time had passed since he got home. since he left Elijah in the hallway. since he felt every pair of eyes on him like they were the portals to judgement day. it took a prayer to get home. "they're just normal people" looped in his brain. every step he took was just another reason he might of deserved it all.
so he sat there. his reflection had the same eyes as every "normal person". calling out to him like he was a false prophet and the world really was ending because of him. he'd like to say his eyes told lies and he wasn't all that. but they didnt. he knew that because he knew the pattern of Elijahs freckles and scars even with closed eyes. his ears told the same truth, a siren song of slavic lullabies fogged all rational thoughts. his fingers tugged on knots in familiar bleached and blackened hair. he smelled the flowers and iron left over from roses and broken crucifixes.
taste alone could damn him to hell. even the thought of his lips brought back every moment of that trip. Colby finally tore his eyes from the reflection. his fingers clenched and unclenched in thought. Colby was never a strong man, he simply didnt know how to be.
it wasn't long before he pressed the pads of his fingers to his bottom lip. pulling down slightly on it. anything to bring a new sensation to his mind. anything to bring back the memory of his dear friends soft hands. if he focused hard enough maybe it would feel the same. it never did and at this point he knew he was lying to himself. it would never feel the same.
knowing he would feel the shame in the morning, he avoided sleeping. kept himself busy with his hands in his hair. and his eyes closed. focused on the thought of Elijahs eyes. how they were that night on that broken porch. they were wide in a state of mydriasis. not of lust, but of pure devotion. like god had never touched the boy, so he never knew the pain in knowing something was wrong.
but thoughts only fade with time, so Colby faded into sleep.
"up you go"
a voice woke up Colby as his eyes barely opened. his arms were being tugged upward as he found himself lifted onto his bed.
"you have to stop falling asleep on the floor, its weird" it was Sam.
"sorry" Colby responded once he sat up.
sam just looked down at him. he had the face of worry and confusion. yes worry for his best friend and confusion on how they haven't talked about the upset Colby has let settle in his chest.
"why do you do that?" Sam asks as Colby steadied on the bed.
"I dont mean to" Colby grumbled.
"no? well you do." Sam pointed out as he sat down next to Colby.
"I get distracted all right" Colby furrowed his brows. pressing his fingers to his lips as the feeling faded.
"do we have to get you checked out? by a medium? make sure you're still my best friend down there" Sam joked, it wasn't really a joke though. he was worried for his life long friend, and a weird possession is completely on the table.
"im Colby" he ground his jaw tightly. sparring only one glance over to Sam.
"then tell me whats going on" Sam pleaded as gently as he could
"nothing is going on"
Colby stood up and walked away. he didnt get the chance to change before he passed out to the mercy of his delusion. so he just kept the clothes from the day before.
Colby didn't know why he did this. pushed himself through this loop of day after day. wake up: disgust. fall asleep: picture him. all he knew is he was melting. shrinking day by day. guilt was his very own global warming.
he found himself in the kitchen. sweat pooled around the muscles of his back. thoughts of what he had done making it worse with every step. enough was enough when he ripped it over his head. throwing the random band shirt across the kitchen table. his mouth ran dry with temptation. reaching for the sink to turn it on. ducking under it, sucking in as much water as he could. he was there long after he stopped drinking it in. tears pooled in his eyes as his hands shook. desperately holding onto the kitchen counter. slowly he raised his hand to turn the water off. blinking away the tears that formed from frustration.
he was lost in the Judean desert and and sin was breathing down his neck with the face of Elijah Silverwood. well thats what he would say about 5 seconds ago.
message from ELI
you get home safe?
oh yeah can I see you later?
Colby was never a strong man, he simply didnt know how to be.
