I am here
With you now
As you stare out your window
Numb to the world.
Not even noticing your mother
Pounding on the door
Begging for entrance
Wishing to somehow ease your pain.
I hate seeing you like this
So far from the charming girl
I fell for
Our freshman year of high school.
That year changed everything.
That year my life truly began.
Up until then
I was broken
Afraid to be myself
Afraid of the ridicule
Afraid of the dirty comments
"Faggot. Disgusting. You deserve to go to Hell."
All for being different.
Up until then
I watched myself leak crimson
From the crisscrossed lines
On my wrists, hips, and thighs.
I couldn't even look in the mirror
Without seeing a hideously weak girl
Staring back at me
With sad grassy green eyes.
Streams of red dripping from her fingertips
Onto the spotless white tiles.
Oh how I wished someone would
Save me
As I laid in my bed
Soaking my downy pillow with tears.
Sometimes I would stare out my window
Through dewy lashes
And imagine myself as a bird
One day being set free of its cage.
Free to soar past the stars
And never look back.
