This Love Is Ours {tayvin/taylvin/talvin}

4. I can't see straight anymore

The blaring sirens at still ringing in my ears, I'm in a cozy little bed, the floors are plain, the walls are plain, and I'm wearing a hospital gown. I see a call button next to my bed, and I press on it. A doctor immediately rushes in. It's a young girl, she seems to know her way around the hospital. I'm guessing she is a second year doctor.

"Hello, Miss Swift I see you are finally awake. You were in an accident last night, you had a few gashes,on your arms, and we had to ditch them up. However, you were lucky to not get hurt that bad" she reports to me. Which explains the bandages on my arms and the IV tube in my arm. "Where is Calvin? Is he alright I need to see him, I need to know he's alright." I say, beginning to panic.  "He's my boyfriend, I need to see him right now." I say, I'm freaking out now. I don't know if he's alright, what if he's dead? What if he's dying?
"He's in surgery right now, he has a minor skull fracture, he may wake up with brain damage, multiple shards of glass were found on his back, and all over his arms, he should be out in about an hour or two." She tells me.

Tears are running down my face, just the thought of him being hurt was making me cry. The fact that he now could wake up and not remember me, or maybe he won't be able to see me ever again, what if he bleeds too much during surgery? What if they kill him? What if he can't even remember our first date, or anything about us? I'm bawling now, and my hospital gown is soaked in tears. What if he won't be able to talk ever again? I can't handle this. I'm not ok with this. He could be dead on the surgeon's table right now. I'm bawling more and more, I notice a familiar face sitting next to me handing me tissues. It's my mom. She rubs my back, and tells me everything is going to be alright. I'm not sure I can believe her I'm freaking out way too much. "Taylor, you can get through this, I know you can. You are such a strong girl." She tells me, still comforting me.

It has been an hour since the nurse came in. I'm still worried about him. Why shouldn't I be. I'm trying to wait patiently and it's not easy, I kept crying. I'm just now stopped for the first time. I'm still not sure if I'm ready to see him yet. I don't think I'll be able to prevent myself from breaking down. Whether or not he is fine. I can't see straight, I can't think straight. I'm only thinking about him. That's all I can do. He's all I can think about.

It's been two hours now. The nurse comes in and tells me she is going to take me to see him. He must've just got out of surgery. I'm still hanging in there.

~~~~

I see him. He's in a bed, sleeping. They have him hooked up to a bunch of IVs and a few machines. I can't bear to see him like this. He looks so peaceful, yet I can't tell he's in a lot of pain. I don't want him to endure this pain alone, I can't stand it. It's painful just watching him like this, even though he's sleeping. He's just lying there, alone, with his machines. I can't live like this. I need to be with him. I want to be with him.

"C-c-can I g-go in th-there p-p-please?" I ask the nurse who brought me here in a wheel chair, along with my IV drip. I'm stuttering. I never stutter. I'm nervous. I'm afraid to go in there. What if he doesn't recognize me? What if he forgot who I am? What if he doesn't wake up? What if he is in a coma? What if he can't open his eyes? What if...? I keep wondering what if? When I should be thinking positive, I should be thinking he will wake up. He will remember me. He will be able to open his eyes. He will see me again. He will know who I am. He won't forget about me.

"Yeah, but he might still be asleep" she tells me, I only hear 'yes' in the midst of my thoughts. I'm worrying too much. I need to be strong. I can do this. I want to do this.

The nurse rolls me in next to his bed. I look at him. He's so peaceful when he's sleeping. I want to grab onto his hand and tell him everything's ok. But I feel like it won't help. I grasp onto his hand anyway. I rub my thumb back and forth over his hand. "It's ok,I'm here for you. You're ok. I love you. You aren't in any danger it's ok. You're fine. Nothing is wrong." I whisper into his ear. I feel him  squeeze my hand tightly. I'm still crying, but it's more tears of joy now.

I watch as he slowly opens his eyes. He's looking at me. He whispers "I love you too". He heard me. He heard me, he remembers me. He knows who I am. He remembers me still. He hasn't forgotten me. I run my hand through his hair, I'm trying to keep him calm, I know he will freak out when he realizes we were in an accident. I decide to wait to tell him. I don't think he will be able to handle it at the moment. He's in too much pain, I can just see it in his face.