Upgrade You

Chapter 16: Mistakes

A/N: This chapter was supposed to be published yesterday but it deleted so we had to re-write it. Enjoy!

DON'T. BE. A. GHOST. READER.

Upgrade You

Justin's P.O.V.

                    The next day at school was just like every other day. I was ignored. It was better than being humiliated like I was yesterday, so I was very blessed... and surprised that no one was talking about it. Actually, Jacob and Chres hung out with me a little bit and I showed some kid named Obrey around because today was his first day. Bartholomew kept glaring at me too. I would address the situation but, he looks like the type of kid to shoot up the school if you piss him off enough so, I just kept to myself.

      When I left school yesterday, Selena didn't even call me. She could've at least left another pointless text message but I didn't even get that. It's like she's not taking what happened yesterday seriously. I felt like I was drowning and going crazy at the same time and she didn't even care. She just walked straight past me today without even a look back. I thought that whole "Upgrade You" plan was now over because of how awkward things are now. That's why I was so surprised when Selena was knocking at my door half past midnight.

                        "Uh... yes?" I cleared my throat.

          Selena fiddled with her fingers, took a deep breath then began, "Look, I know I shouldn't be here right now and you probably don't want to see me but--I understand because if I were you, I wouldn't want to see me either. I'm not even supposed to be here, I was just going to fall back for a couple of days and give you your space and let things air out between us but, I just couldn't do that. I could barely even get to sleep last night because I kept thinking about what I did to you and, I couldn't sleep tonight either. I just really hate it when you're mad at me and I know for a fact that what I did was terrible because I feel terrible.

I thought that this whole Make-You-Popular ordeal would go smoother if I'd just taken you through the steps that I went through to get popular but, then I noticed that it wouldn't because you and I are two very different people and we react differently to things and we've been through different things so I didn't even think twice about what I was putting you through and, I know that's a really shitty thing to do because I'm a shitty person. You really scared me in the cafeteria like, I was really worried about you. I know it may have seemed like I didn't care but I really did. I just--I didn't know wh-what to do or what to say. What I'm really here to say is that... I'm sorry.

                 Like, I'm really, really, really sorry and I'm not talking about the sorry's I usually say because I really am sorry and I want you to know I'm sorry because I'm sorry. I'm talking about a real apology because what I did was terrible and careless. I like talking to you and hanging out with you because you make me feel better about myself. I wasn't even really mad at you yesterday about that small lie you told saying you "had something in the oven", because I really thought that you were just nauseous or you had to take a nasty shit and you didn't want to do it around me because you'd be embarrassed. I was just mad about something that happened between Jake and I after you left and I was really confused on why you left also so, the next day I just took that all out on you and I really shouldn't have because you're a great person and you don't think I'm shitty. Well, you didn't think I was shitty until now--w-well yesterday, when I did that terrible thing. I just thought that if you were pushed to a certain point you'd turn into this Incredible Hulk person and smash the fuck out of everyone but, I completely forgot that... I jus-- I don't even know what to say right now because I'm scared that you don't even care about what I'm saying which, I don't blame you because if roles were switched, I really wouldn't care for what you'd have to say either. I'm just a really shitty person who does shitty things but you're a really nice and caring person and I understand if you don't want to do this whole popularity thing anymore or if you don't want to hang out with me anymore. But, if you do still want to hang out with me then, I think that's really cool because you can show me how not to be shitty and your niceness and caringness--if that's even a word-- can rub off on me. And, I know it's late and you were probably sleep but I just had to come over here and apologize even though, Jake probably knows by now and he's most likely going to kill me when I get back home but yeah. I like being around you and talking to you. You're the only person who I can really connect to and when I think about all that going away I get really sad and I hate getting sad. I mean, I know I have Trin and Ash but... they don't see me like you do. I mean, you really see me as me and not as a title.