06.17.24
Kendric MacQuoid had a severe love trauma and his heart was totally closed but when he met a woman that he think was fit to him, he was immediately captivated by her and made a way to open his heart again. There were many obstacles that the...
I finally did it. All the struggles I fought were worth it.
The graduation ceremony is just an hour away.
"Sir? okay na ba yung ganyang style ng buhok?"
Inulit niya ang pagtawag sa akin, but this time, sinamahan niya iyon ng tapik "Sir?"
Ilang segundo bago ako bumalik sa ulirat at maka sagot. "O-okay na yan."
Nasa salon ako para magpa-ayos para sa graduation namin na maya-maya lamang ay magsisimula na.
Sa suot ko, halata naman na pinaghandaan ko iyon.
Black pants with brown leather belts for bottom, White Polo for top at binabalutan ito ng malaking toga na suot ko, and lastly, for shoes, I wore Simple but formal black shoes.
For my make-ups, I have a simple glam for boys kaya hindi ito masyadong makapal and a classic hair for man.
After I got ready, pumunta na ako sa venue kung saan ito gaganapin. Nakita ko sa bandang kaliwa ng gymnasium ang kina uupuan ng mga tropa ko kaya't doon ako nagpunta.
As I walked in the middle of that place, everyone stared at me. I felt that moment at naglakad na parang isang importanteng tao ng okasyon.
We are in the fifth row on that side, lahat kaibigan ko. Si Zeus, Lorenz, Muhgrin, Gabriel, at... Jiroh?!
Naka graduate pa yang kumag na yan.
"Ang tagal mo, akala ko hindi kana g-graduate e," si Lorenz.
"Late na ba ko?" Tanong ko sa kanila. Ang akala ko kasi ay 1:00 pm pa ang simula kaya may oras pa akong mag-ayos, 10 minutes more.
Itinuro ni Jiro ang mukha ko, "labanan ba ng make-up?" Tumawa sya sabay flex nang mukha nyang puno ng kolorete.
"Sira! pang lalaki tong sa akin, e yang sayo... ang sakit sa mata," asar ko sa kanya.
"Let us start this program on a prayer." Nagsalita na ang head ng programa.
Nagbigay ng tingin sa akin si Zeus. "Lumabas ka muna, magdadasaldaw. Ayaw naming mawalan ng kaibigan."
His shitty words, attacking me. Akala mo linggo-linggo nagdadasal ang kupal.
After we prayed, We did a multiple opening program. Binanggit na rin isa-isa ang mga graduated students.
After minutes of waiting, they finally called me.
"Kendric MacQuoid, Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing."
After I heard that, iba yung pakiramdam. While I walked towards the stage. All struggles, memories and laughter start to flash in my mind. It's over.
After that ceremony, I went straight to my father's grave without hesitation. Yes, he already died. He left when I was young, as young as 5 years old.
He died in a car accident. All of us are in that car- my family, but he's the only one who didn't survive.
When I arrived, nag-tirik ako ng kandila. Ngayon na lang kasi ulit ako dumalaw sa kanya. Pumunta ako para ipakita sa kanya ang naabot ko.
I felt the pain before I succeeded. I mourned before I tasted the joy.
It hurts, na yung tao na dapat makakita nang lahat ng to ay wala na. Siya lang kasi ang unang naniwala sakin- na kaya ko.
Hindi ko namalayan ang oras, isang oras na pala akong nakaupo sa gilid ng puntod nya.
Nang makauwi ako, sinalubong ako nila mama sa pinto. They prepare a small celebration.
I posted my picture in my social media
' First step of my journey '
Many people reacted to my photo. All of them congratulated me.
Honestly, noong una ay hindi ako suportado ni mama sa pangarap ko- ang maging isang tanyag na manunulat.
'You will gain nothing in that aspect'
That phrase, I heard that multiple times as you can think. Sometimes whispered, sometimes shouted. But I always received it with the same pain and doubt.
That words totally bring me down. To the point na muntik ko nang bitawan ang lahat.
Pero katagalan ay nakumbinsi ko rin siya para suportahan ako. Napaniwala na kaya ko.
And I'm proud to say... my first step was already finished.
1 year passed.
Naging busy ako sa paghahanap at pag iipon ng iba't ibang libro. Sa katunayan, naging buhay kona ito. Patuloy na bumubuo ng karera sa larangan ng literatura.
Pag gising ko palang ay libro na ang hawak ko hanggang lumubog ang araw. Because of my obsession to books, kung maihahalintulad ito sa ginagamit ng iba, libro na ang naging cellphone ko.
Pumunta ako sa kwarto.
Habang naghahanap ako ng tamang libro na babasahin, there's book that was accidentally slip down to my feet. I picked it and to my surprise...
That way my own book. Isa lang ang copy non dahil self published lang naman ang ginawa ko roon.
Matagal ko nang inabandona ang librong iyon, ang akala ko pa nga ay nasunog kona.
Kinalimutan ko na minsan kong isinulat iyon because that book was full of trauma and pain. Nothing else.
Guess what? I wrote that because of her- my ex.
Sa tuwing nakikita ko iyon ay bumabalik ang lahat na parang walang nangyari. Those pain didn't go away, I chose to forget and bury it in oblivion instead.
Iniisip ko nalang... That was not happened to give me pain nor regrets but to give me something to learn from.
Now, I need to totally close that book, burn it into ashes and start a new one.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
