06.17.24
Kendric MacQuoid had a severe love trauma and his heart was totally closed but when he met a woman that he think was fit to him, he was immediately captivated by her and made a way to open his heart again. There were many obstacles that the...
“I accepted what he wanted.” I said to Kendric “babalik na ako ng Japan.”
His face... completely shocked to what I said. Nai-kwento ko kase sakanya ang tungkol sa posible kong pag-alis dahil sa kumpanya.
“Kailan?”
“I don't know, maybe tomorrow.” I replied “that’s why gusto kong sulitin ang oras habang nandito pa ako—kasama ka.”
“A-anong ibig mong sabihin?” He utterly said.
I chuckled “Ganiyan kaba talaga ka manhid? para hindi mo maramdaman na may gusto ako sayo?” Suddenly, my tears dropped.
“I kept it to myself for a long time, but here I am, I can't hold it anymore. Wala rin naman akong magagawa kung ano ang magingsagot mo dahil aalisnarin naman ako.”
I didn't heard any reply from him. His silenced already gave me an answer.
Before I confessed, I already know that I don't have any chance, not even a percentage, because everytime we're together, he hate the topic when it comes to relationship and feelings, and always taking it as a joke. He want to pursue his dreams and achieve it.
It hurts, when the person you want doesn't meant to you. I sacrifice and forcely set aside my feelings for him, for the sake of my father's wealth.
I even burn my own dreams.
“I‘m so sorry Lorelei, alam mo namang—”
Fuck that sorry, hindi yan ang kailangan ko. Kahit paulit-ulit kong tanggapin yan, hindi nyan mababawasan ni katiting na sakit.
Is it my fault na nagkagusto ako sakanya? is it my fault na umasa ako? dahil araw araw at patuloy niyang pinaparamdam saakin na mahalaga ako. But that's a fairytale—all of that. I guess ganoon lang talaga sya, ako lang itong nagbibigay ng kahulugan at tinatatak sa putanginang utak ko na may pag-asa ako.
“I know, I know everything. You don't need to explain.” I whispered while sobbing.
He gave me a hug, a tight one while repeatedly saying sorry.
“I can't see myself to be with anyone— for now.” his last message.
I left him alone. I don't want to force him to love me back, because that's not called love anymore.
I came home to pack my things up. My flight was scheduled for tommorow.
Kinabukasan, naghanda na ako. After 4 hours of flight, I finally came.
My dad message me, he sent me an address.
Nahirapan ako sa paghahanap non pero natagpuan ko rin. It was an hospital. I go inside and ask the nurse on the counter.
“Goodmorning, Mr. MacQouid's room please.” I said with a formal tone
“Here, ma'am.” sabay abot saakin ng card na may nakasulat na numero.
Hindi na ako nahirapang mapuntahan iyon dahil hindi tulad ng iba na kailangan pang pumirma ng kung ano ano bago makapasok, I don't need to do all of that. They knew me— They knew my father. He was known in this country as a ‘Golden Businessman’. Siya lang naman kasi ang nagmamay-ari ng pinakamalaking kumpanya sa bansang ito.
As I entered his room, I saw him lying on bed with tube connected to his nose. Halata ang tindi ng sakit niya. Ni hindi nya maigalaw ng maayos ang katawan nya. The only way he can see me is with through his rolling eyes.
Gising sya. Pero nakakaawa ang kalagayan.
This time, I forgot all sacrificed I did. Walang mas masakit pa bukod sa makita mo ang sarili mong ama na nakalatay sa higaan at nag aagaw buhay.
He saw me, stepping towards his bed.
“Gladly you're here now, I thought hindi ka tutuloy.” his voice, cracking. Dahil ba sakit niya ito o sadyang tumatanda na talaga siya?
“You know I have no other choice to pick.” I laughed. Not because it was funny— but because it hurts.
“I honestly don't know if I can handle it well, like you did,” dugtong ko pa.
“You can, do not doubt yourself. If you will, you can.”
Dahan dahan niyang kinuha ang isang card at nanginginig na iniabot ito saakin.
“Here, get this. This is my company card, nakalagay na rin dito ang address,” sabi niya.
Kinuha ko ito. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya.
Gusto ko pa sanang magtagal doon pero mismong siya na ang nagsabi saakin na umalis.
Its already afternoon, when I came to the address he gave me. My jaw dropped, ang laki ng gusali, hindi mabilang na mga mata ko kung ilan ang palapag na mayroon.
I entered, I saw many peoples that work in this company, pormal ang suot nilang lahat. But this woman, she stepped in my place.
“Good afternoon, you're the daughter of Mr. MacQuoid am I right?” She greets me.
“Yes, I am.” I replied shortly.
“Follow me; I'll take you to your office.”
As she said, I followed her. Nasa pinaka tuktok ng building ang opisina.
We use the elevator to arrive quickly. Maliit lang ang opisina pero malinis tignan, kumikintab ang sahig nito.
Mayroon lamang isang isang lamesa sa gitna, malaking upuan sa likod nito, at dalawang upuan sa harap ng mesa na sa tingin ko ay para sa bisita.
Naka ayos na ang opisina. May nakalagay na ring isang tab sa gitna ng lamesa kung saan nakasulat ang pangalan ko. Mukhang pinaghandaan na nila ang pagdating ko.
“I am Carmella Alfonso, your assistant.”
Tumango lang ako.
Inilibot nya ako sa buong kumpanya, pinakilala sa iba‘t ibang tao, pinaliwanag ang iba‘t ibang sektong ng kumpanya at ipinakilala rin sa maraming investor.
Unang araw pa lamang ay may problema agad. Ang ilan sa mga investor ay piniling mag pull out nalang. Siguro walang tiwala saakin dahil sa edad ko at natatakot malugi.
Habang tumatagal ay mas nagagamay ko ang lahat. Naging maayos ang takbo nito.
Maayos na ako rito, ayoko nang bumalik sa dati lalo at alam kong wala rin naman akong babalikan.
But the question is... Can I live for the rest of my life? Without seeing him. Without loving him. Without him.
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