Dear Nash,
I'm glancing at the clock and I noticed it's midnight and either your sleeping because you still believe in santa or your opening presents enjoying life, and either way you're so happy. I loved you so much when I was alive, and I will continue loving you until the world is over. I can't possibly thank someone I've never met or seen up close before, but I will try. I haven't met any one so unique in my life that has made me smile so much in one day than I have in my entire life. People have called me crazy, stupid, weird because I idolize someone who is always thousands of miles away from me, but you know what? Fuck them, who cares what they say about you? Because I think you're beautiful. Inside and out. I know one day you'll read this or if not that sucks, but if you are reading right now I'm probably freaking out that you finally read it, but also that you've read about my past. I never thought that someone I loved would ever read this, but at the time I found out about you I kept writing stuff in here that I should've kept to myself, but now you know. There are so many more of your fans that are suffering in depression, anxiety, anorexia, or of suicidal thoughts right now, and you have no idea. You might have some idea that there people out there like that, but take it from me. That you have to do something about it. Even by one smile or even a laugh can make someone's day or year or even eternity. i know it made me happy. So please for the sake of all of your fans stay happy keep doing what you're doing and don't make any of the bad decisions because you've seen what it could do. Make a video or just vlog having fun because like I said it could make someones eternity, like it did mine. So appreciate what you've got because some of your fans don't got what you got. I don't know what I just wrote but I sure do hope it didn't come out harsh or just making absolutely no sense, but I love you so much. Never ever forget that. And if I made you cry I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I care too much for you to see you crying over me, and please don't I'm not worth your tears. i am worth nothing. By the time you might be reading this I'll just be some corpse with no soul. So as you're reading this please get this straight. Me killing myself or even being sad couldn't have been prevented if you knew or even took account about it. Chances are I'd still probably kill myself. So don't you dare think this is your fault because you weren't there for me when I needed you there for me. HAMILTON NASH GRIER, I REPEAT, THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. I love you so much Nash, and btw go by Hamilton it's cute haha.
With lots and lots of love,
- Cara
p.s. thank you for being my savior.
YOU ARE READING
Savior ↠ Nash G.
FanficCara was forced to buy a journal by her guidance counselor, and she writes all of her thoughts and feelings. And they're very dark. That is until she finds someone on the internet to be her reason to keep living, Nash Grier. She just wants to meet h...
