Innocence (Ben Bruce)

Chapter 37

We walked for about two hours in silence. I just wanted to walk and walk and for once, I didn't want to be alone. I enjoyed Samantha's company

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but do you want to talk about it?" Samantha asked softly. I didn't want to talk about it, I mean for all I know she might not even care or think I'm crazy. If I tell her all my problems she may become scared of me and never talk to me again. That was my problem. I would never let anyone in because I was afraid of how the would react, especially if they mean a whole my to me, then that would be much worse. But, I really needed to get all of this weight off my chest, even if it means risking losing Samantha; even though we're not that close.

"Sure" I said smiling weakly

"But, I'm warning you now. Your not going to want to talk to me ever again. I'm a fucked up girl Sammy"

"No I wont. Trust me."

Fuck.

"Okay" I sighed "well, do you want to know everything?"

"Every single little detail" She smiled

Fuckity fuck fuck.

"Well, Ben and I were going out ad then one day he picked me up and squeezed my stomach and I went crazy because when I was younger my dad and I would always argue and one night he got angry at me for who knows what, and threw a bottle of scotch at my stomach. It left a scar. And after Ben held me like that I went ballistic and I started crying and I ended up cutting myself and then Emily kicked him out and told him to never come back or try to talk to me ever again. And then four months pass and I come to this party and I see him here and he saves my life when I don't want to be saved, and I made myself throw up and I'm starving myself right now because I hate my body and think I'm disgusting. Plus, Ben has a girlfriend and that broke my heart even though I 'think' I don't like him anymore and and............" I trailed off realizing I had said more than I intended on. "Oh my god, Samantha, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't of said all of that. I didn't mean to throw all my problems on you" I said covering my mouth. She had a sad expression

"You wouldn't understand any of it, I'm so so sorry" I said while my heart thumped against my chest. She placed her hand softly on my cheek an I closed my eyes

"I understand completely. I've cut myself before and I still do, I cut myself and make myself throw up as well. I think I look like a cow. I know exactly how you feel. And I know what your father did to you was terrible. Now, I'm not going to give you any sympathy because I know that you don't want it. I know it was hard for you to tell me all of this and I really do appreciate that you trust me like this and you told me everything" She said. I smiled weakly an looked at the floor ashamed of myself "Hey, Hey, Hey" She said "look at me" She lifted my chin "you have nothing to be ashamed about okay? Life isn't always easy and we all look for ways to release stress, an that one is yours and that's fine. Life a roller coaster, I know" She smiled. I stared to feel all giddy inside. I wrapped Samantha and gave her a huge hug.

"Thank you so much" I whispered " you have helped me so much tonight. More than anyone else really, and I barely know you" I laughed "But I can tell that we're going to be really good friends" I smiled

"I know, I feel the same way. By the way what's your number?"

"Oh, we'll I got pushed into the pool with my phone in my pocket, so i'll just get another phone soon but my number is 786-220-0920" I smiled. She pulled out her white galaxy S3 and typed in the number

"Alright thank you darling. How about we walk back to the house, is getting kind of late and we shouldn't be out here alone"

"Yeah, our right. Lets go" I smiled.