Innocence (Ben Bruce)

Chapter 39

I woke up with the worst headache ever. My head was thumping, my eyes were burning, my lips were chapped, my throat was a desert, my body was aching and my legs were jell-O. 

I had no desire to move nor to get out of bed. I feel as if Ive been actually stabbed and i also feel extremely shitty. 

I have been laying in bed for about a half hour; not moving; just thinking; barely blinking; with no emotion; thinking about anything and everything. Oh, and mostly feeling bad about myself, wanting to cut, throw up, smoke, take pills, but like i said, i have no desire to move. 

My door creaked open and i shut my eyes as quick as i could. I really didn't want to see anyone, and if they knew i was awake, they would make me get up. 

No.

"I know your awake, don't try bullshitting me" I heard Angel say

Fuck.

I didn't make a sound

"Rachel, can you please get up? Its 2 in the afternoon"

I didn't make a move

"Stop being a vegetable and get up"

I didn't make a sound nor a move

The covers were ripped from me exposing me to the light. I groaned and mumbled into my pillow

"Why are you shirtless?" Angel asked laughing 

I turned upside down, dug my face into the pillow, and could no longer breathe.

Angel grabbed my ankles and dragged me down; rolled me upside down and put a shirt over my head. 

I felt like a child; getting other people to dress me. How terrible.

"How do you feel?" Angel asked

"I want to die"  I said then rolled over again.

Angel rolled me over once again, and picked me up bridal style and took me down stairs. 

My eyes were shut the entire time. Mortal enemy #1 was down there; the sun. 

Emily was sitting in her split and petting Fox at the same time; usual thing really. 

Angel placed me on the counter and walked over to the refrigerator.

I laughed

Angel turned around and Emily stood up

"This isn't funny, your eating and there's no getting out of it" Emily spat crossing her arms.

I laughed again

"Your eating whether you like it or not" Angel said 

I laughed even harder

"You wanna know what?" Emily said raising her voice "I'm so fucking done with this. I'm so fucking done with you. I'm so fucking tired of all your bullshit. You do this to yourself for absolutely no reason. Its not Ben's fault. Your over reacting. That's why this all happened in the first place. He didn't want to touch it, it was an accident , but you don't understand that. You dwell on it for no reason. Oh, and YOUR NOT FUCKING FAT. Okay? But whatever, you don't listen to me anyways, if you want to throw up all your organs, by all means, go ahead. Ive been trying for WAY too long. And oh, by the way, I his all of your blades; or anything you could harm yourself with." She said raising her eyebrow "Your an over dramatic bitch that doesn't forgive herself. Your stupid and this is all pointless" 

 "Emily" Angel said cautiously 

"NO! Don't you 'Emily' me. I'm so fucking tired of this shit. She does this to herself and then expects us to save her. Well I'm fed up with it! She always comes crying to us for no reason. Expects us to fix all of it. Take all the pain that she causes herself away" She yelled. She turned to me once again "I'm so done trying to help you, to make you feel better or to do anything for you. Your dead to me Rachel, alright. I don't want to see you, look at you nor speak to you. Go fuck yourself. I have better things to do than this" And with that said, she walked out the door.