If Fire Caught

Chapter 29: Katniss

I hear a knock on the door and lift my head. I've barely left my compartment since Peeta's been here. I can't help but wonder what he's feeling, if he's actually being treated or if they just tied him to a bed and called it a day.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Who do you think Sweetheat?" I hear that all too familiar voice say. I get out of bed and open the door to see my very shaky mentor.

"Wow, no alcohol really has took it's toll on you, huh Haymitch?" I say.

"I wouldn't be so snippy if I was you," he says. "After all, I'm the one who finally got you an hour and a half with the boy."

"I can see him?" I ask.

"Isn't that what I just said?" he says. "Maybe they need to cheek your other ear."

"When?" I ask.

"As soon as you're ready," he says. "He's been asking for you."

"Really? I ask as I pull on my father's hunting jacket.

"Yep," he says and I walk out, shutting the door behind me. Haymitch leads me down through the halls and to the Mental Health wing. He stops in front of a door labeled with Peeta's name. I open the door and walk in to see him tilted up, strapped to a bed with his feet in the floor. There are three restraints on each arm and led and I see an IV attached his arm, most likely to deliver a knockout drug should he get to out of control.

"Oh look who it is," he says in a voice that isn't entirely his. "The mutt herself."

"Hey Peeta," I say. "Haymitch said you've been asking for me."

"Yeah," he says. "I wanted to see you face to face instead of stabbing me in my dreams."

"I'm sorry Snow did this to you," I say. "It's all my fault."

"You're right, it is," he says. "And you'll never know all the shit I went through. You can never make it up to me. Just like you'll never make up killing my son, if he even was my son." I feel tears start down my cheeks.

"He was yours!" I yell at him. "He was conceived the night of the Quarter Quell announcement and we both fought hard in that arena to make sure he got out of there with one of us. But we failed. We both failed! He died in my stomach and I cried over his body as Gale and Finnick helped me lay him to rest at home, in the woods under a willow tree. Do you even remember his name Peeta? Has Snow taken even that?"

"I have no idea what you named your bastard child, and I really don't want to know," he sneers and before I can stop myself, I step forward and slap him across the face and take the collar of his shirt in my fists.

"I know you are in there somewhere and you don't really mean those words but I will not sit back and let you call our son a bastard!" I scream. "You were the only one I ever slept with, ever let myself feel that way about. I know you know his name. I know you felt that same pain I did when you found out we lost him because I saw you sobbing in that interview. What was his name Peeta? What was his name?!" I let go of him and back away. He just stares at me. I shake my head.

"You really are gone," I say. "I wanted so badly to believe you were still in there, fighting your way back to me, but I guess I was wrong. I turn to leave and am about to reach for the door handle when I hear his pained voice call out.

"River," he say. I turn to him, not believing what I just heard.

"What did you just say?" I ask.

"Our son's name," he says. "It was River, right?"

"Yes," I say. "I named him like we planned. River like the tears I cried." I step forward and look into his eyes, that for the moment, have lost some of the tortured look. "Little did I know that it wasn't only for you, but for him too."

"Did you get to hold him?" he asks. I nod.

"He was tiny," I say. "Really tiny. He felt so fragile and he was just way to small. I begged him to wake up, but he was dead Peeta! He was dead! I'm so sorry!" I start crying and fall on my knees.

"Katniss," he says. "Please come here." I look up to see my sorrow reflected in his eyes. I stand and walk over to him, standing within reach for me.

"I wish Boggs hadn't stopped you," I say as I walk over to his arm and start undoing the restraints. "I wish you could have just killed me. Then I would have to see you like this. Tied up like an animal. You wouldn't have to hate me if I was dead. I'd be with our son and my father and - "I stop as I let loose his last restraint and feel his arms pull me to him.

"Please stop talking like that," he says. "I'm already fighting it as hard as I can. I don't need your encouragement. I need you Kitten." I look up at him.

"You called me Kitten?" I say. "You remember what you used to call me?"

"Yeah," he says. "But I can't stay in control for much longer and I want you to get out of here."

"I don't want to leave you," I say. "Not when I finally got to see you again."

"I'm going to keep fighting," he says. "We're gonna get through this and after you finish this war, I promise you that I'll give you a real wedding."

"We already had a real wedding," I say. "It was real to me, and whenever I get the chance, I go by your name."

"I want to give you a legal wedding," he says and I smile. I stand on tiptoe and kiss him gently.

"I hope the next time they let us talk, you won't be tied up like this," I say.

"I doubt it, but I really think I'd like that," he says.

"I'll try to talk them down to maybe handcuffs," I say. "I have a lot of pull around here." I give him another kiss, and suddenly Peeta pushes me away.

"Get out of here now!" he says. "I can feel the venom coming back!" I'm about to say no when he starts screaming that I'm a mutt and that he's going to kill me. I run out of the cell and lock his door behind me. I look at Haymitch.

"How'd I go?" he asks.

"I got him back for a good five, ten minutes," I say. "But he couldn't fight the venom any longer. He went right back to being a mutt again."

"Well I guess that's better than nothing," Haymitch says.

"Most defiantly better than nothing," I say. "He's coming back to me, little by little."