If Fire Caught

Chapter 31: Katniss

I stumble down the hall towards Peeta's hospital cell. I clutch so tightly to my IV pole my knuckles turn white. The pain from my ribs and newly sutured abdomen make it very hard to stand and if my mother caught me right now, she'd put me under watch and wouldn't let me see him anymore. I walk up to the guards and they frown at me.

"I'm sorry Miss Everdeen," one of them says. "No visitors this late."

"But I need to see my husband," I say. "I need to tell him I'm okay. He's been told I was shot and I know he won't relax until he sees me face to face and knows I am."

"I'm sorry but we have strict orders not to -," the other guard starts but are stopped by Boggs as he walks up.

"Deny Mrs. Mellark from seeing her husband whenever she chooses," he says smiling at me. "In fact, you would be happy to help her get to Mr. Mellark's cell wouldn't you Jackson." He turns to the woman guard. She nods and helps me walk the rest of the way to Peeta's cell and opens it for me, nodding as I slip inside and shutting the door tightly behind me. I look over to see Peeta sleeping on the cot. He tosses and turns restlessly. I wobble over to him weakly and kneel beside the cot. I gently take his hand and shake his shoulder.

"Peeta," I whisper. "Wake up." He shoots up, knocking me to the floor. I let out a whine and suddenly feel someone's his arms around me, trying to pull me up when in reality, his thumb is digging into my stitches and his fingers are making my ribs scream in pain. I let out a screech and Peeta quickly releases me. I roll onto my back and look up at him to see him rocking back and forth, clutching his knees to his chest as he tugs his hair. I pull myself up onto his bed and he scrambles away from me.

"Peeta," I say. "It's okay. I'm not here to hurt you."

"But I hurt you," he says shakily and I shake my head.

"I was already hurt Darling," I say. "You just got my ribs, that's all. It's not like you meant to do it. You were just trying to help me up."

"No," he says shaking his head. "I attacked you. I hurt you Katniss. I tried to kill you again."

"You were just dreaming Peeta," I reply. "You haven't laid a hand on me to do harm in weeks."

"Then why are you hurt?" he asks.

"I got shot in 2 filming a propo," I say. "The bullet didn't get through my armor but the force burst my spleen and bruised some of my ribs. That's why I'm here. To make sure you know I'm okay."

"I, I didn't hurt you?" he asks, lifting his head to reveal his very bloodshot eyes. I gently take his hand in mine.

"Of course you didn't," I reply and push up my shirt so he can see the bandages and bruises. "Would I already be bandaged up like this if you just hurt me?" He reaches out and touches the pale pink scar that had just recently been tied shut the same as my new wound.

"What's that?" he asks and I feel a tear slip down my cheek.

"That's where they took River out," I say looking down. Peeta comes closer to me and runs his fingers over the pale scar, making me shiver.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you Katniss," he says and I see his own tears slip down his cheeks. I gently cup his cheek in my hand.

"You're here now," I say. "That's all that matters. And you've taught me that the two of us can get through anything, so even though its gonna take some time, we're gonna be just fine when all of this is over." I kiss his forehead and start to get up but Peeta won't let go of my hand.

"Please don't leave," he says hollowly. I nod and sit back down.

"If you don't want me to, then I won't," I say and allow him to pull me close. This is the first time he's actually been able to hold me without the restraints since he's been here. He buries his head in my neck and I feel his stubble scrape across it as he smells my hair. It's completely silent in the dark room except for our breathing, which is completely fine with me right now. I've needed this for almost two months. Just to feel his arms around me, protecting me from the night. But when the silence breaks, its Peeta who speaks.

"Please tell me you aren't going to the Capitol," he whispers.

"I have to," I say. "For our son, I have to. I have to make his death mean something to people other than us. I need to make Snow pay for what he's done to us."

"Then I want to go too," he says and I shake my head.

"I don't want you to ever have to go to that awful place again," I say. "I won't let you do that."

"Please," he whispers and I shake my head.

"Let's just not talk like that right now," I say, trying to get him of the subject.

"Have you been having nightmares again?" he asks.

"I never don't have them anymore," I reply. "You aren't there with me. Johanna says I keep screaming in my sleep and that it's really hard to wake me, but I'm always fine when I wake."

"I wish I could help you," he says.

"I could stay here tonight," I say. He shakes his head.

"I might hurt you," he says. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You'll be okay Peeta," I say. "Because the next time you wake up, I'm going to be right here to show you what ever you dreamed didn't happen. To show you that you didn't hurt me." I lay down and gently pull him down beside me. It's I tight fit, but it works. I lay my head in his chest and let his ever calming heartbeat lull me into the first peaceful sleep I've had in months.