My story.

August,6th,2015

Hello, I'm so sorry I haven't been writing in a while, I've had no time between moving and being with family. Anyways yesterday was a total disaster.

So A and I were texting and after a while he stopped answering I went on suicidal mode for some reason and I became so depressed you couldn't even imagine. One thing that he said broke my heart and that was

"I've never seen you like this before, what happened?"

I couldn't answer him I was in hysterics, I was just taking a couple pills and just shaking and choking on sobs, it was pretty bad. I have been okay these past couple of weeks just faking it and trying to smile to hold back the tears and at some point I actually felt happy and then it all came crashing down. I couldn't control it I was just upset and me talking to A wasn't exactly helping my case. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm some mental emotionally unstable person. I was just telling him how sorry I was and how I didn't want to live anymore and how much I didn't care about my life and I think that hurt him. I don't know but it hurt me to know that he saw me at my worst. And I seriously have been trying to control myself but it isn't working very well.

Anyways my parents left me and I'm stuck at my aunts house which is kinda boring but I'll survive. Anyways that was my day.

Goodnight darlings.