I Can't Get the Vampire Rogue to Romance Me

Chapter 70 - What Could Happen at a Bathhouse

"But I don't really see what the problem is," the bath attendant said, crossing her arms.

Evangeline took a fortifying breath, and tried once more to get her persuasion check to work. She had done this twice already and each time had failed, but this attendant seemed willing to give her as many chances as she needed.

Lifting up her collar once more with a finger, Evangeline spoke slowly and precisely. "These are enchanted collars. We can't take them off. It also means we can't get more than a few feet away from each other, so going into separate baths is not going to work. We have to stay together."

Social Skill: Persuasion... Success.

At last, the bath attendant's narrowed eyes widened. Even though she was an elf, she was very short for one, about the same height as Evangeline. Gingerly she touched Evangeline's collar and there was a magical snap, like static shock between them.

The bath attendant let out a deep, resigned sigh. "I see. Alright." She then turned back to her fellow attendants, who all put their heads together to speak in hushed voices.

"Okay, maybe now we're getting somewhere," Evangeline muttered. Valerian stood next to her, his hands resting on top of his head, nonchalantly and quite unbothered by the hold up to their baths.

"It's just not a usual practice for clerics of different genders to bath together," Sigismund said.

"Druids have no problem with it," Hagor added.

"Not relevant to this situation," Evangeline said, trying to convey a warning in her voice to not start something.

Hagor only shrugged, then crossed his arms. "Well, it's not."

At last, the bath attendant returned. "There is one spring that we may allow you all to use. It is a bit higher up, if you don't mind the walk. There will be no one of us to attend you though. Once we have you situated with drinks and such, we will withdraw."

"That is perfectly find," Evangeline said with relief. "We can look after ourselves as long as we have soap and towels."

The bath attendant nodded, and gestured to a pathway behind her. "This way please."

"At last," Valerian said a bit too loudly, "Now I get to see Sigismund naked."

Artmond laughed, Sigismund harrumphed, and the rest simply rolled their eyes and followed the attendant.

They were led down a short corridor, past a pair of sliding doors, made of panel paper and up a long set of stone carved steps set into natural rock. The attendant hadn't been kidding. They walked up quite a ways until at last the reached a large hot spring near the top. The pool was wide and deep enough to go up to everyone's mid chest when the sat down. Steam rolled off the surface. Lining around the pool were rough tables, holding stacks of towels, cups, and robes for the bathers as well as space for food and whatever else.

In fact, platters of food was being set up in the empty spots, along with several pitchers of liquid to fill the cups with.

"You may leave your belongings here," the bath attendant indicated to a low natural ridge in the rock, that made a sort of bench for their clothes and things. With that the bath attendants exited after giving them all one final bow in perfect unison.

Hagor muttered something in elvish that Evangeline didn't even bother trying to interpret. How he said conveyed its warm, awed meaning just as well as he gazed over the baths.

"You approve?" Evangeline asked.

"It has been an age," he admitted, and set his thorn wand on the ridge so he could seize the bottom of his shirt and pull off the garment. Unfortunately, doing so immediately ripped it through the middle.

A laugh slipped from Evangeline before her fingers could hold it back. Even more comically, Hagor looked through the now gaping rent that was now his shirt at the bareness of his lightly haired chest.

"I thought elves didn't have body hair anywhere but their heads?" Artmond asked, also watching unabashedly, which earned him a smack from Sigismund that he did not really heed.

"Just a myth," Hagor said, slipping the shirt the rest of the way so he could turn it in his hands and examine the futility of getting it repaired. "Or rather a mass generalization."

"Hmm, indeed," Valerian said, and pulled of his own shirt to reveal exactly that, smooth skin over his sculpted chest. Since they had been traveling for many days, he also didn't have any fuzz on his face, but then neither did Hagor, so Evangeline had no idea what the rules were then.

Valerian made himself a nuisance, practically strutting in front of her, and the rest of the party, with his fists on his hips, very pleased with himself. After a moment, when she hadn't said anything and fought to keep her amusement off her own face, he gave her a questioning eyebrow and a look up and down as if to ask, "Well?"

Her cheeks burned. Evangeline from her other life couldn't even get naked in the women's locker room all through high school, college, and the three months she tried to do that fitness center.

But this isn't like that, she thought.

Valerian's cocky smirk softened as his probing eyes read her expression before she could look away and hide it. She thought for a moment, he would say something snarky or mean, but instead he turned to one of the chairs and retrieved a towel.

Or rather a bath sheet; it was a huge square of cloth as large as Evangeline was.

Noticing what Valerian was doing, Artmond hurried over and retrieved another bath sheet, before hurrying it over to Sigismund, holding it out before him to create a similar screen for changing. He grinned at Valerian as he held his out, and the vampire rogue returned an approving smile, the corners of his eyes the only hint of the mirth he truly felt underneath. Sigismund rolled her eyes and shed her robe and underclothes, before snatching at the towel from Artmond to wrap around her form and march toward the steaming bathwater.

Evangeline did the same, slipping out of her clothes while Valerian diverted his eyes, now smirking. As soon as her own shirt went over her head, she squeaked in pain as something hit her shoulder.