I Can't Get the Vampire Rogue to Romance Me

Chapter 43 - As Bad as a Bard

"So I guess we're keeping the dog?" Valerian asked as he sat down next to Evangeline on one of the logs back at their camp.

"Yes, I think it was meant to be," she answered, grinning as she watched Artmond playing with the dog he named Scoundrel. He certainly repeated it with so much fierce love and affection, there was no one anyone in the camp would not know what it was yet.

"Great, well, I'm not cleaning up its mess," Valerian sniffed.

"Thank you, by the way," Evangeline said.

Valerian grinned. "For what?" he asked, leaning toward her like a child thinking he was about to get a candy.

Evangeline didn't rise to his bait. "For helping me protect the dog. I could have handled it myself, but it was nice to not have to," she said sincerely.

That sincerity seemed to touch Valerian, because his teasing, fake smile slipped a little. He withdrew a bit, straightening up in his seat. "Well, I was getting bored. And I did hurt my fingernail for all my trouble."

He held up the aforementioned finger, which still showed no sign of the affliction he kept whining about. Still, on a whim, Evangeline leaned forward, capturing his hand and gave the nail a little kiss-make-it-better.

"Hmm, I didn't realize vampires can blush," she said as she sat back up, noting the telltale pinking on his cheeks.

"Blush? For a little peck like that," he scoffed crossing his arms while leaning back to also cross his legs. "I'm blushing out of embarrassment for you. You really think someone like me is impressed by that. I've done more seductive things with words alone."

"I wasn't trying to seduce you," she pointed out.

"Uh huh," Valerian said, poingnantly not believing her.

Scoundrel barked a merry woof-woof as he trotted up with a stick in his mouth, eager to play now that Artmond had given up the ghost, lying on the ground on his back, out of breath.

"Besides, I feel like I know more about you now than I did before," Evangeline said, as she watched Scoundrel drop his stick at Valerian's feet, before sitting down in front of it wagging his tail expectantly. "You're clearly a dog-lover."

"Dogs. Mongrels," he growled, as he kicked the stick away with the toe of his boot. It only went a foot, but Scoundrel lunged for it anyway. Wagging his tail so fast it was a blur, he brought it back and dropped it once more at Valerian's feet.

"So if you didn't do it for the dog, why did you do it?" Evangeline pressed, leaning over to pick up the stick herself, giving it a fairly decent toss. Scoundrel barked with joy as he took off, leaping over the body of Artmond graceful as an antelope.

"Because that guy was a horse's ass and his face needed punching," Valerian countered as they watched Scoundrel root for the stick in the semi-dark, then bound back with it to, again, drop his prize at Valerian's feet.

"Well, he was clearly trained," Evangeline said, standing up. "I'm off to bed. Enjoy improving your animal handling skills."

"Well, I, for one, do not approve of our newest addition to this camp," the Phoenix declared from their perch just a few feet away.

"Oh, it finally deems to speak to us," Valerian sneered.

The Phoenix's feathers bristled.

Evangeline swatted his shoulder. "They! Not, 'it,' what is wrong with you!" she hissed at him.

"It's a bird," he retorted.

She leaned in, so she could whisper even more harshly. "Whose whim you may depend on for your literal life someday. Best not to piss it off!"

His grin simply sharpened as Evangeline realized that she had placed her face way too close to his. Kissably close.

"It's your whim I would rather be dependent on. Tonight. Maybe I'll sneak into your bedroll and have myself a little taste?" he arched an eyebrow at her, with confidently hooded eyes that told her he already knew what her answer would be and he would like it. It was a look said, I know I already own you.

It made her blood boil.

"I swear, if you were any worse at seduction, I would think you were a bard."

Valerian's completely circular eyes were very satisfying. Along with his dropping open mouth.

Evangeline straightened, smirking as she set her fists to her hips and turned on her heel to head into willowed bedroll to the sound of the Phoenix's cackles of laughter.

Strangely, as soon as she passed through the branches into her space, an overwhelming pressure settled into her chest. She had done something wrong, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what. The urge to burn a Meta point became overwhelming. It burned so hot, her mouth open in a silent scream.

"What an ass," she squeaked out and she felt the tic go. The pressure lessened some, but not a whole lot. Not enough. It was impossible to breath.

Desperately, she opened her stat screen and found her special skill bar. The last tic blinked at her. They had never blinked before.

"What. An. Ass," she hissed through her teeth.

The final point burned and at last the pain in her chest eased. She could breath and she gulped down as much air as fast as she could.

"Dear lord that took long enough," Meta chided as he came into being before her.

"What the hell?" Evangeline hissed at him.

"What the heaven more like," Meta said, brushing away at some dust from his robes, his eerie rainbow cracks in his gray skin pulsing. "You do need to remember I am a god. Your god specifically."

"What... what are you doing here? And why did you send me here in the first place. And where is here exactly? Am I in my video game or is this like a real world or something?" The questions came spilling out of her and even more rushed to join them, but Meta lifted a finger to his lips.

"Hush, that's enough. Don't need you alerting your companions to my presence. Trust me, I'll have to reboot this whole thing and you're not going to like that." Then he looked down his nose at her. "Besides, I don't owe you a damn explanation for anything. Now, shut up, or you would have wasted your Meta points to summon me for nothing."

"Fine then. What do you want?"

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