I Can't Get the Vampire Rogue to Romance Me

Chapter 89 - It Gets Gross

"How do we even know where we're going?" Sigismund asked, in a soft voice. The harshness in her tone betrayed how anxious about this she felt.

"I am tracking them," Valerian said, "I have my survival skill specialized for urban areas."

And he really did seem to know where he was going. The underground tunnels were definitely not straight. When they were built, it did not seem that any one even gave a thought to a "grid" pattern. Every so often, they passed under another manhole and some of them weren't even covered with a proper topper. Evangeline was most grateful for the ones that had grates placed over them instead, as they gave some light and a scrap of the sounds above, not that that helped her navigate where they were up above. Valerian scooted around the light, even though Evangeline didn't think it was bright enough to do him any real harm.

The real danger of the grates didn't make itself apparent until Sigismund, of all party members, walked underneath one. As if on cue, water, or rather a smelly, liquidy substance showered down on her. Harrowheart managed to to jump out of the way, and subsequently Artmond as well since he had been on the side of her that she had jumped toward.

So Sigismund stood there, her robes sopping and no longer light colored brown. That combined with the pull of her longer hair and the hood that had been covering it, she liked like some vengeful spirit rising out from the bowls of the earth and mud.

"Oh my gods, Sigismund, are you okay?" Evangeline asked, letting go of Valerian's hand, though what she could do to help she was at a loss.

Sigismund held up an imperious hand. "Don't touch me," she ordered, her voice sounding thick, like her nose was clogged.

It was then that the smell hit Evangeline, making her nose wrinkle hard. It smelled like excrement that had started to ferment.

She then gestured at the air, pulling up her personal menu. "Yup. I have the nauseous condition." And then she turned and threw up. At least she aimed it into the sewage stream and everyone around stood helpless as they watched her back shudder and wretch. Again, Evangeline tried to at least put a fortifying hand on her back, but Sigismund again, flinched away. "Don't touch me or you might get the condition as well," she said.

Evangeline wasn't sure that was how that worked, but she respected Sigismund's wishes.

"Well, that's going to make it harder to sneak up on whomever we're tracking," Valerian said, his voice muffled from his hand cover his nose and mouth.

"I thought vampires don't breathe," Artmond asked, doing the same. In fact, all of them were doing it, even Hagor scratched at his nose with his claws.

"We can still smell though," Valerian snapped, then turned away to double over. "My gods that's rancid."

He then straightened, and met Evangeline's gaze, the only one not daring to cover her nose. "We can't do this."

Rogue Skill: Perception. Success.

In unison, Valerian and Evangeline turned toward a very odd burble, plop, gurgle sound.

General Knowledge: Nature. Failure.

"What the eight hells is that?" Evangeline asked. She couldn't see, but she knew for certain there was something else moving in the dark beyond.

Valerian squatted into a fighting crouch, pulling his pair of mismatched daggers on either side of his body. "I have no idea but it's coming this way."

"What does it look like?" Harrowheart asked, mimicking his crouch and pitching her voice down.

Then Hagor Badger began to do his sharp little alerting barks. He backed away from where Evangeline and Valerian and more into the light.

"One of us really needs to learn how to speak with animals," Artmond noted as they all tried to understand what Hagar's animal form was saying.

Do you recognize it?" Evangeline asked.

The Hagor Badger nodded vigorously.

"What is it?" Artmond asked, and got a dirty look from Hagor Badger.

"Yes or no questions, or else he has to shift back," Evangeline said. "Is it something we can fight?"

Hagor Badger nodded.

"Excellent. I'm pissed off to need one," Valerian said.

Again, Hagor yipped, then shook his head.

He then slapped his paw flat onto the ground.

Evangeline looked at the others, but no body seemed to understand. "We got to squash it?" she tried.

"Too late!" Valerian shouted and slashed at the darkness.

Immediately, he yowled as his fist and the knife got stuck inside the... thing.

"What an ass!" Evangeline called out, burning her last Meta point.

"It's a Excreta Beast," she said, reciting out loud as fast as the knowledge entered her head.

Valerian cried out again. "My hand is burning!"

"It's digesting him! Help me pull!" Evangeline cried, and seized Valerian's other arm.

Artmond grabbed him around his middle and they pulled. There was a pop, like a bottle and all three fell backward into the light from the grate.

"Get me back! Get me out of the light!" Valerian panicked as he attempted to scrabble out of it. He wasn't smoking but his panicked state didn't allow for him to register that. He didn't get very far, as he had fallen on top of Evangeline and part of Artmond, so he wasn't making very much headway.

As they failed to move away, the creature came just into the light. It was an amber color, and what bits of light hit it, showed that it churned from the inside, bits and pieces of... refuse moving through it. Amongst the refuse, Valerian's knife flashed by, already corroded and degrading.

"Oh gods this is not how I wanted to die today!" Artmond cried, as the gelatinous shape moved over them. Then a skull... a human skull appeared where the thing might have called its head and grinned at them.

"We can't kill it with piercing weapons, only bludgeoning ones!" Evangeline shouted, while her mind raced. She didn't have anything that simply bludgeoned, they were running out of time for her to think of who might.

Just then Harrowheart stepped over them. "Out of the way kids. You can't bring a knife to a hammer fight!"