She's Fearless

Chapter 12

I don't know where I am going but I'm going somewhere. But not home. I should go home and apologize to Lottie and my mother but I can't. A slushy sounds good. Maybe that will calm me down.  Yeah. Lets go get a slushy.

I went to the closest gas station to get my slushy. I also got a bag of skittles which I don't really like but... But Ali likes skittles. But she isn't here so why would I get skittles. Who knows. I just sat in the has station parking lot. And to add to the shitty start of a day, it started fucking raining. You know what... Fuck it.

I grabbed the phone and dialed a number that I have now memorized.

But it went to voicemail. 

"Um. Hey. I know I've called you like twenty times since... Since my grandfathers funeral. But. I just really want... Need to hear your voice. I need you to tell me that you are okay and safe. And that...  You know what?  I just bought a package of skittles and I don't like skittles. But you do and maybe that is why I bought them. Cause I can't get you out of the fucking head... Sorry I didn't mean to cuss. I also went off on Lottie this morning because she got a text message from you. I made her cry. I made my innocent sister cry because I got angry that she gets to talk to you. And then I threw one of my mother's good plates because she made a a very valid and true point that you don't want to talk to me. But I need you to talk to me cause I'm sitting outside in the rain at a gas station eating skittles that I don't even like. And I made my little sister cry. And I just need... I just need to hear you say everything is going to be okay. And... And I love you."

By the time I ended the call I was soaking wet and my slushy has rain water in it.

"Damnit." I muttered and threw the slushy cup. And now I feel bad because I have littered.

"Hey." I looked up and saw Lottie with her arms crossed soaking wet too. "Mom sent me to come find you." She took a seat next to me on the side walk.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I told her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders pulling her into a hug.

"I deserved it. I should have told you I was talking to Ali the second she sent a message. I know what she means to you."

"It is none of my business like you said. It is your phone so your business."

"But it's Ali."

"Ali doesn't want anything to do with me. I kind of ruined that a while ago." I said then wiped some water from my face.

"I don't think so." She sighed. "You two are soulmates. But you both are too stubborn to even realize that."

"I don't think so Lott. But thank you." I kissed her on the forehead.

"Louis, I know you're stupid and all but not this stupid. Ali and you are meant to be together and you need to do something about it cause I am not going to be able to handle any more outburst from you. And I don't think mom can either. So you and Ali need to get your shit together."

There was a long pause between us. It was peaceful to hear the rain fall around us.

"Lets get home. We're going to get sick." We both got up. She got in her car, I got in mine and I followed her home. We both ran inside and my mom was waiting at the door with towels for the both of us. The other girls are now awake and watching television.

"I'm sorry mom." I gave her a hug which I am sure she probably didn't appreciate considering I'm soaking wet. "I'll replace the plate, I promise."

"I have dozens more. Don't worry about it hun. Go change before you get even more sick." She kissed my cheek and I headed upstairs to my room. 

I don't want to do anything. I feel like shit and I barely slept last night but it is too early to take a nap.

Some one knocked on my door.

"Can I come in?" Lottie asked from outside the door.

"Yeah." my voice of soft, almost distant.

"My friendship with Ali will probably go up in flames after I say this but," she took a deep breath in then continued. "She went back to her apartment in London in Tufnel Park. It is only about a block away from your apartment. I don't know the exact building but it is the tallest tower. Apartment number 803. But you have to be buzzed in by the front desk before you can go up. So if she lets you in, you will be able to see her. BUT, if you tell her I was the one that told you where she is, I will destroy everything you love." she half joked on the last part.

"I can't go Lott." I sighed. I want to go.

"What?! And why the hell not?"

"I can't leave the family right now. And she doesn't want to see me. She won't even return my calls."

"Louis," she sighed. "We don't need you here. In fact, your kinda annoying us with all your mopping around. It's actually pretty pathetic. So go to London, show Ali you care about her and love her and all that."

"Lottie, I ca-"

"If you say 'I can't' one  more time I'm going to throat punch you." I don't think she was kidding on that part.

"And what if she doesn't want to see me? I'm I just supposed to beg like a dog?"

"I guess you'll have to go to find out." She shrugged with a smirk and left my room.