an attempt at poetry

chapter 45: 'a stone in my throat'

There's a stone in my throat,

Its been with me since I was a babe, or that's what I thought,

It hinders the air from flowing in and out,

Draining my energy, or not,

The abiding spar between hate and yearn,

It tires me out,

But I've trained my body, forced it to learn,

To take large gulps and gasp for air,

No one's ever showed much concern,

Not until the fight became unfair,

And the stone allowed no air to pass,

No space to breathe,

Turned me into what I was,

And got me into the habit of clenching my teeth,

I wondered whether I was wrong,

To view the stone as a challenge,

And not the curse it was,

As it spread poison through my corpse,

And I allowed It to hurt,

Told myself it was part of the process,

That it could've been much worse,

The pain I feel, it hurts,

Empathy makes us human, yes,

But it can leave you in the dirt,

It takes control of your limbs,

So your hand takes flesh out of your arm,

You're left vulnerable to the wind,

And become exposed to unimaginable harm,

The stone in my throat,

Its kept steady by my stomach and my tongue,

The latter uses logic,

And tends to push the stone down,

But my stomach upon this frowns,

It's instinct roars the stone out,

And begs me to ignore the doubts,

To protect me and my peace,

While others step upon it,

And reminds me to cease,

Helping the remnants of my body,

Become alit as others do what they please,

For I live for me and not for everybody,

The stone in my throat,

I now want it out,

And if I must cut my tongue,

Or silence my brain,

I will, so I can finally spear myself,

From said self-inflicted pain.

A/N: I think this one is my deepest one yet? It's personal, maybe that's why. I've finally cut off my father. From everything. No more visits, no more trips, no more communication, and hopefully, (in the future) no stone in my throat. Thank you for reading <3