an attempt at poetry

chapter 48: 'anxiety attack'

first you cry,

your heart aches so you rid it of its tears,

a feeling floods it until you can't experience any other,

then you forget to pace your breathing,

and when you realize it you're speeding up,

your heart might thump out of you chest,

it skips several beats,

and your lungs beg you for some air,

your own ragged breaths are all you hear,

the voices and the music blur into silence,

then you fail to differ tear drops from sweat,

if you had actually gone insane you'd strip yourself naked,

for the heat feels unbearable as the fabric sticks like glue to your skin,

you're only wearing a tank top but it feels like you're struggling under a blanket sea,

then you feel a bit dizzy,

and then a bit light headed,

and then a lot more as your full body feels too heavy,

you can't focus anymore,

whatever you were doing loses any value,

and blends into the mix which was once reality,

then,

with the last drop of consciousness that remains,

you somehow manage to open your phone,

press on a contact,

and identify the familiar ringing of it in the middle of the drum-like beating of your heart,

then you hear their voice,

it soothes you relatively,

it approaches you cautiously like a soft, delicate hand nearing a wounded animal,

you feel it first, to check,

then you wrap yourself around it because you realize anything is better than the loop you're currently in,

and it holds you back with as much strength,

it invites you to follow it,

to mimic its movements, its steps,

its breaths,

then your senses kindly come back,

slowly, one by one,

because you,

just survived,

an anxiety attack.

A/N: Hi. I would like to say that this is my experience and that I am eternally grateful for my environment and the people that surround me. Without them things like these would be really difficult to manage and have under control, so if anyone feels like they're alone in any way please reach out. I'd love to lend a hand, even if you're dealing with something of a completely different nature and can't relate right now, reach out. I love you, the same way many other people do too <33