One sided love

Chapter 7 - Secrets And Lies

Lee Jieun's pov

Slowly, I dragged one feet in front of another, making my way to home in daze. The time had passed so fast when I was by the Jung's house, so fast that I forgot that the school had ended hours ago. Both Yoonhee and the little Hana embraced me warmly, welcoming me in their home like I'd actually belong there.

And for some reason, I did want that to be the reality. What would my life be if I was born there and not to my mother, whom I still loved deeply nevertheless? Would things be that different, would I have a different kind of life?

Well, of course. I wouldn't go to the school I did, I wouldn't know as many business men I did now, and the thing that would be the biggest change of all, would be that I'd never have met Myungsoo. I wouldn't have felt this love that kept me right under the surface of water, torturing me, but also giving me just enough oxygen to keep me struggling.

Maybe we would have passed the same street a time or two, the school wasn't that far from the Jung's house after all, but I... I wouldn't take such a great notice of him.

I'd walk straight past him, maybe sparing him only a one glance, but no more than that. Would that be possible? Then what about Sehun? Would I know him at all? Would he still be a homeless kid, wandering these streets like I would? Would I... fall more for him then?

I didn't know. I didn't have the answers, nor would I ever get them. But the thought that I wouldn't feel all this heartbreak, all this regret and sadness... That it would all be gone like it never existed... It just... seemed impossible. It felt too unrealistic to even be thought about. This was how I had lived for so long, not caring if it was a hard path or a great weight to carry on my shoulders.

I couldn't change my life only with the power of my imagination.

And who was I to mope around with my silly first love? Heartbreaks belonged to everyone's lives. All the hardships were different, but they were meant to make us better as humans. Sadly, some just got more of it than the others.

I suddenly snapped back from my thoughts after I saw the familiar mansion in front of me, almost all the lights on, creating a big contrast against the dark sky. My parents must've been so worried that they decided to not to sleep before I'd come back. I was never out this late, and if I was, I'd always inform them in one way or another, usually through Sehun.

I felt bad for worrying them. But what I was really worried about was that if they called the cops, because they would definitely do that if they thought it was necessary.

Quickly dismissing the thoughts of them acting before giving me a chance, I opened the door and made a forced smile appear on my face. I wanted to act like everything was perfect, so there wouldn't be a reason to worry about. I was spending too much of their attention already, they needed less wrinkles and gray hair from the stress. It should be the company they were more worried about, not me.

"Jieun!" My mother exclaimed the moment I stepped in the house, running to me with a big, bright smile. She grabbed me to her embrace and hugged me with all of her might. My hand immediately flew to her back, drawing soothing circles although she wasn't crying.

"What is it?" I inquired with an amused smile, wanting to hear what made her so cheerful at that time. She was more of an morning person, she should be a zombie already.

She distanced herself to cup my cheeks, smiling so proudly as she stared deep into my eyes. I smiled back at her, of course, but I had yet to learn what was the reason to be so elated. I didn't expect her to pierce my heart the moment after.

"Did you have a nice date with Myungsoo?" she asked as she stroke my hair. My smile dropped for a second before I managed to put it up again, it feeling so tight that I felt my mouth hurting from pretense. I felt flustered trying to come up with an answer.