One sided love

Chapter 5 - Little girl called Hana

Lee Jieun's pov

"I should marry you? For what?" He asked in disgust, but I was too busy admiring his features closer than ever. He was so handsome, and this was a chance I probably wouldn't get in the future, so I decided to take out all of it.

After his grip on my wrists tightened, I knew he was expecting me to answer. He was urging me to do so. But what was I supposed to answer him? Should I just straightforwardly confess my love for him, my love that seemed to be lingering on earth for eternity even after my body might no longer be here?

Should I just lie and act like I just didn't like Suzy? Like I'd be the mean and possessive delusional girlfriend of his. It was a part of the truth though.. I liked Suzy's personality and her beautiful features that fit Myungsoo's perfectly, but there was still that one small part of me, somewhere hidden deep within, that selfishly wished that it would be me standing next to him. Me, not her.

My hands holding his, not hers. I wish I would be the reason to his smile and the light of his world. I knew it wasn't true, Suzy had my dream world. And I knew that it wasn't going to change as long as they both lived.

So I offered Myungsoo a weak smile, showing that I was going to answer his question now. My wrist that he had grabbed were hurting as he anxiously tightened his grip without realizing. I hid the pain like all the other pain I've gotten these past years, and looked straight to his light blue eyes that shone like stars in the sky.

"Only six months. Then... I can let go.." I said quietly, finally revealing my heart.

After those words left my mouth, my heart picked up it's speed and it was getting hard to breath. In the end, I just hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.

I had just confessed to him in a bizarre way, maybe he didn't get it after all?

The silence was killing me for a long time, at least that was how it felt, until he seemed to snap out of his thoughts. He quickly blinked couple of times before giving me his infamous mocking smile.

"So that was it? You like me?" He asked and snorted. No... I love you, I thought, but I was content in just nodding to his assumption.

At least he knew now, if nothing else. That I liked him. I really preferred the cliché word 'love', but people observed their and others' feelings in their own special ways, so no way was right, I assumed. Though I could be wrong, since they couldn't possibly know how you felt inside.

Myungsoo's laughter brought me back to the situation with him, and I smiled unconsciously. I felt really happy to know I was the one that made him laugh this time, even once. But then he suddenly stopped, and started staring at me with a serious look in his eyes.

"Don't come near me and Suzy." he warned with a deep, threatening voice. "Yes, I did, indeed, agree to marry you.. But only because my mother begged on her knees for that." He continued with a smug kind of smirk playing on his lips. Then turning around, he left to find Suzy, leaving me standing there absolutely stunned.

I knew he'd be afraid that I'd somehow chase Suzy away, I was already prepared for that. But that his mother begged on her knees for me? I felt so grateful, so happy and so relieved. And I felt like someone just took a bullet for me and died.

Pride - it was something that people took seriously. The Kim's family and our being no exception. Though I had no pride to start with, I couldn't possibly imagine my mother begging on her knees. If anyone would know about Myungsoos mother, their stocks could drop as the consumers would start criticizing a prideless leader.

But of course, too much pride was also a curse. In short, it was hard to please people. And so, I felt like I'd own my life as a debt to Myungsoo, who would be the debt collector. I only existed as a burden weighing down everyone around me, really.