One sided love

Chapter 3 - Deal?

Lee Jieun's pov

We had already arrived home after that disastrous dinner meeting that took place in that brand new restaurant. Even though I didn't have a chance of tasting the food as my emotions took over, I would still recommend it for people since the place was filled with comfy mood. Except our room with me and Myungsoo.

My mother had started to cry even harder than there on our way home, and this time I was in no condition to console her. I was beyond glad that father did it for me. I sighed as I wondered will she ever stop crying. I wasn't mean, I just wondered.. How much longer will she cry after me? I never wanted her to cry for me.

For once, I allowed myself to cry with her while thinking about my grim future that awaited me. Finding your true love was rare, and that chance was only given to few people in this world. But knowing that your true love didn't love you on the other hand, was crushing. Like someone had taken out your heart, stepped on it few times and fed it to murderous dogs filled with bloodlust.

Also, knowing the fact that you didn't even have enough time to show the love you felt for that person, was something that really ate you up from inside. It torned you apart as you tried to juggle with keeping that person happy and placing you first. For me, the answer was always him. I didn't even consider myself worthy being compared against him.

And to add something to the list of awful things in life, was the fact that you were the one who made that person's life like living hell. Talk about cruciating things.

Still my heart kept beating for him, and him only. It wasn't ready to let go of the fantasies it had created together with my brains. It wanted to desperately run to him, beg for his love and even threaten with killing itself, but I couldn't possibly give it a permission to do that.

In the end, I would just silently stand by his side unnoticed, watching and guarding him from the shadows as he never chose to even glance at me. That was my plan of act I intended to keep up till the very end. It had worked well before after all.

I just wanted him to give me a chance. Was it so hard? Was I so low and trash-like person, that he couldn't even bear hearing my name? If he could even give me six months, or three, I would already be on my delusional cloud nine. If he'd just give it a try. If he still wouldn't like it, it wouldn't take the rest of his life, but only a small piece of it. He'd forget it and me soon, starting a new life with someone else. And I would be there cheering for them both.

I heard a light knock on my wooden door, so I got up from my soft bed and opened it. My father stood behind it, smiling brightly like no day could be any better than this blessed day. I felt like that too, when I heard what he wanted to say. "Myungsoo will marry you!" My father exclaimed happily and jumped up and down. It took me a moment to realize what he said and then I joined my father, and together we jumped like crazy people.

We acknowledged that we didn't behave like we should, but we allowed us some time to be happy over something like that. We jumped on the bed and laid there, not thinking of anything. My father was smiling for me and I smiled at the thought that I'd walk on the aisle, being escorted by my father and Myungsoo would be there, waiting for me.

He'd smile at me and take my hand. We'd vow to love each other until the end. We'd kiss and then we'd run away from the church and go to our honeymoon... "Are you happy now, Jieun?" My father asked and I nodded with a bright smile. "I am, father. I'm very thankful of what you have done." I thanked and he just laughed. "Jieun.. I know we have taught you to talk like that, but could you even once call me daddy?" He asked.

I lifted my head and stared at him. "Daddy." I said after gulping with great difficulty. The word was strange to me, something that I was not used to say. It was fun and it sounded more free compared to father. "Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy." I repeated and then I giggled. It was so weird!

My father looked at me and smiled. "It's funny, isn't it?" He asked and ruffled my head. "I know, Jieun. Have a nice school day." He said and kissed me on my forehead. I nodded and wished him a succesful workday and he responded with a wink. I love you, father. I felt sad knowing, that soon those smiles my parents gave me will turn to tears of despair.

I sighed silently to myself and dressed up to my school uniform. I surprisingly loved school uniforms. They showed immediately where you studied or which department you belonged to. But, sometimes it was kind of annoying too. I liked to interract with all kinds of people, rich, sick, poor, homeless..

All I wanted to do was helping them, but when they see my uniform, which lractically screams 'I'm from elite school', they back away and think I was just making fun of them. My mother said that I have a kind heart, but what did that mean exactly?

Did that mean that you are willing to help anyone who needs it? Did that mean that you put others first? Did that mean that you're willing to sacrifice everything? Is that how I was? Yes, that was exactly what kind of a person I was. One time, only this one time, I was being selfish.

I was selfish to ask for this marriage. I got my only wish and I wasn't going to throw it away. Not even if my heart would break to million pieces, still I wouldn't give up. So I ate breakfast with my mother and then hurried to our car.

My driver, Oh Sehun, was my best friend and the world's best listener and helper. He was a year older than me, but under some horrible circumistanses, my parents took him under their wings and I could not be any happier about their choice.

I smiled when he opened me the car's door and I sat in happily, sinking in my thoughts as the car moved forward. I was too excited at the thought of seeing my husband, that I didn't even realize to think about her. Soon enough I got to suffer from my forgetfulness as the car arrived to the school parking lot.

There he was. Kim Myungsoo, the man my head praised, kissing and snuggling with another girl right in front of the school's gate. I always knew his heart never belonged to me... But I stubbornly decided to ignore it time after time.

Even this time.