slide away {lorenzo berkshire}

90. is it over now?

"I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We will all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive."
- Stephen Chbosky

~~~~~~

Lorenzo Berkshire

A week ago, I had been begging Cassie to stay alive.

Now she was stealing my pillow.

I'd been awake for twenty minutes. She hadn't moved much. Every now and then, her fingers would twitch against mine, or she'd shift closer until her shoulder pressed against my chest.

That was it. Nothing dramatic or particularly interesting. And yet I couldn't stop looking at her. I was starting to realise that this was going to be a problem.

I think I'd spent most of the last week doing that. Watching her breathe. Watching her sleep. Watching her wake up and immediately start arguing with whichever Healer had the misfortune of walking through the door.

The first few days had been the worst few days of my life.

They took her from me immediately. One second she was in my arms and the next, there were Healers everywhere and someone was telling me she was bleeding internally, that there was too much damage for magic alone to fix.

Then the doors closed.

That was when I panicked. Because until then, I could still hold her. I could still hear her breathing. I could still tell myself she was safe. And suddenly I couldn't do anything.

Theo and Draco tried to keep me from following her. I tried anyway. I was injured too, apparently, which everyone seemed far more concerned about than I was. A Healer made me sit down. I argued. She ignored me. I argued again. She threatened to sedate me.

I don't remember how long I waited. I remember every time the doors opened. Every time I looked up. Every time nobody said her name.

When they finally told me she'd survived, it wasn't even reassuring. She was still unconscious. They couldn't tell me when she'd wake up.

So I sat beside her and waited.

That day was the hardest. Not because anything happened. Because nothing did. I just had to sit there and wonder whether the girl I'd spent most of my life loving was ever going to open her eyes again.

Eventually, she did.

I remember the exact moment. I looked up so quickly I nearly knocked the chair over. She blinked groggily as her eyes scanned the room around her in confusion.

"Hey trouble", I whispered, leaning closer. "You're at St Mungo's. You were hurt, but you're alright. They had to operate but-".

Her tongue moved over her teeth. She froze, her eyes widening. "My tooth."

I stopped. "What?".

"Did they fix my tooth?".

"No."

She frowned. "Why not?".

"Cassie, you were bleeding internally. You nearly died".

Her expression turned horrified. "You haven't seen me for two months."

"I know."

"And now I don't have a front tooth", she whined, her face crumpling.

I laughed properly then. "That's your biggest concern?".

She grabbed the sheets and pulled them up to her nose. "Don't look at me."

I laughed and tugged them back down. "Cassie-".