divergent high (tris and uriah)

As the months go by im missing you

I dial the phone but he doesn't answer instead I get his voicemail " hey it's Uriah leave a message" BEEP.
"Hey Uriah it's me , look I miss you , I really do but I can't be your girlfriend I love Tobias. He needs me and I need Him. He's always been there for me and I'm just not ready to give that up. I don't want or lose you either. Please call me back." 
But he never did .

October-
My first Halloween that I won't spend with Uriah I miss him, I miss my best friend, I miss the boy who never failed to make me laugh , who could always keep my secrets and who had my back and trusted me without questions.
November-
The air is suddenly cold , the bright sunny days of summer long gone, just like the rays of light Uriah brought in my life. Yes I have Tobias but it's not the same , it feels as though he's keeping his distance from me and with holding secrets I long to know.
December-
It's December now, the snow has began to fall, the snowy weather reminds me of long gone winter days with Uriah. Building snow men and drinking hot chocolate back before all this drama. This is different from all the other years , there is still Christmas trees, songs, presents and dinners, but where is Uriah who always came in on Christmas Day with a big present for me and a santas hat on his head ? Tobias and me fought today like we never have before he says I'm closing myself off from him. He says he doesn't know who I am anymore , and I said I felt the same way about him. I thought we were forever.
January- Uriah still has not said a word  to me , neither has Tobias. Nobody at school knows what happened to me, the girl who used to have a bright smile on her face , the girl who was always laughing has been absent from these halls for quite awhile. I think of apologizing to tobias but then , I wouldn't know what to say, I have changed and I don't know how to go back to the way I was before, I don't know how to be the tris he fell in love with, when one of the people who made me that tris, is suddenly ignoring me with everything he has.
February-
This is the time of year that's usually  my favourite, my birthday is coming up but this year I couldnt be less excited, my birthday falls on the same day as Valentine's Day I always throw a huge party , and tho I used to love that this year it just seems so exhausting , like its to much work, but I throw it anyways and invite Tobias and mend our relationship. Afterall it's not his fault uriahs ignoring me. And he really is very sweet.
March-
My relationship with Tobias has been mended tho it's different now, we are so cautious around each other, so scared of losing the other, I love him i really do but that spark that used to make me feel so alive is just gone. Gone without a trace. I still miss Uriah but now the pain has dulled. I bury the pain with cheerleading and singing and writing the things I used to enjoy. I hide the pictures and the mementos of our 17 year friendship that just went down the drain so fast because of some silly little feelings he's probably over by now.
April-
As the cold snow drys up and the spring air slowly seeps back in, thawing the winter cold , my and Tobias's relationship is back on track we don't tiptoe around each other anymore and I feel as tho we've come out the other end of this tunnel stronger. And day by day I thaw a bit more the old tris coming back. My heart finally adjusting to getting by without the support of my best friend. I can think of memory's we share without my heart breaking into a million peices.
May-
The gang is back together finally! Tho Uriah is absent no longer caring to be apart of our group, the group fits back into our usually hang outs , making new memory's so we dorm dwell on the old ones . Chris has already forced me to go to millions of dress stores in search of a prom dress.  None of sparked her interest yet, so I know I'll be dragged along for more trips.
June-
Prom was amazing, it really was. Tobias and me had an incredible time and I'll cherish that night forever. Now as I prepare to except my diploma today, I think about how this was supposed to be the perfect year not the year I lost my best friend.