The Ending of Elle

Charred Heart

Half alive, mostly dead.
Scary thoughts, inside my head.
Nothing it's right, though nothing is really wrong.
I'm confused and in pain,
Guess you could say I'm numb.

My mind won't make up
Never just happy or just sad.
Its always changing.
Never certain
Of what it's really feeling in my head.
I can't decide if I'm crazy
On the edge of no return.
Or if I'll snap out of this emptiness
And come in from out the cold.

I'm trying to let go
Trying to be happy with myself.
But that's hard to do when it comes you
I've come dependant on your help.
Now your distant and I'm alone and I don't really know where to turn.
Got to close to the fire
I just wanted to admire it,
But I touched it and got burned.

Charred heart, blackened and bruised.
Abused and used,
It's got nothing to lose.
Shattered and broken,
Tattered and torn,
Only a smile to mend this
Cold and broken heart.

You've broken me the bone. 

scarred to the core. 

Left me to figure out everything

all on my own. 

and you've changed me

and molded me

into this girl I do not know

this girl I do not recognize

she has a new soul. 

a new mindset

a new style

a New outlook on life.

she's hurting and she tired

she's done with this fight. 

but still fighting

for acceptance

fighting to belong

to something, to someone

to anyone who will hold on.

 she is empty. 

so empty and hallow.

though she knows you are partially to blame

she blames herself for this sorrow

and maybe she deserves it.

or maybe not. 

but that doesn't matter for she's never truly been taught

how to love herself.

accept herself.

be okay with what she sees. 

maybe im not changed. 

maybe this is just me. 

the real me. 

the scared me.

the insecure

please hold me.

the me that screams silent

and feels so alone.

the me who can not survive on her own. 

the me who's become dependant on thee

the me whos not me but is me can't you see

you've changed me.

I am exposed. 

I am naked.

everyone can see

every scar and bruise everyone has left me with

yet no one can admit 

that they see me.

No one will fess up that I am naked like eve. 

no one will tell me that they can see

my charred heart. 

the heart that's been

blackened and bruised, 

abused and used,

it's got nothing to lose, 

shattered and broken, 

tattered and torn.

my charred heart

is mine.

and it will be restored.