The Ending of Elle

Attention Whore.

falling slowly,
dying quiet.
soundless screams
and cries kept silent.
sleepless nights,
and tired dawns.
laying there and listing
all of your wrongs.

inhale,
self hate.
exhale,
self loath.
hide yourself under
loose and baggy clothes.
breathe in,
sadness.
exhale,
death.
starving to fill the emptiness.

"just a diet".
"just a phase".
"its all in your head".
"stop playing games".
"you're lying, you're fake".
"stop playing pretend".
"you're doing it for attention".
"this stupidity needs to end".

hide all the pain
with a smile and a grin
play the role of the perfect
daughter and friend.
"im fine".
"im just tired".
"I had a bad dream".
"I already ate".
"im okay, can't you see?".

mother look.
it's your daughter, it's me.
killing herself
and only 16.
I starve for attention,
i purge to appease.
a slow suicide
for everyone to see.

I cut for the pity,
I fail for the shouts.
I do this all
bc I feel I don't amount
to anything or anyone or something in between.
im doing this for you
I want you to see.

woman, please.
I don't need attention,
your pity or tears.
if I did
I wouldn't have hidden it for all these years.
and months and days
and not told a soul
if I wanted attention
id have been far more bold.

and so I lay.
falling slowly,
dying quiet.
soundless screams and cries kept silent.
mother save your little girl
before she becomes no more.