The Ending of Elle

I Hate That.

I hate you.

No I don't.

I love you.

I think. 

Whatever this feeling is.

It's something that makes me unable

to despise you much as I may want to.

And I hate it.

I hate that I can't

help but think about you at random times

And how you always find a way 

to infest my mind.

I hate how I can't stay away

even when I try and how no matter what 

I stay by your side.

I hate that.

I hate how even though

you've caused me so much pain I still

welcome you with open arms and

tell you it'll be okay. And how I

say sorry for the stupid things because

I don't want you to go away, but you

rarely admit your wrongs.

I hate that.

I hate that you choose them 

before me in a heartbeat.

Like I haven't been there for you

through everything. I hate how you act

like there's something I'm missing that these

other girls have got and i don't. Long hair, fair skin,

cheeky smiles, bright eyes. I hate that I'm always

Trying to change myself for you. I hate that.

So in honesty. I don't hate you.

Or anything about you.

I hate that i let you get away with this.

I hate that I let you make me feel this way. 

I hate that I am not strong enough to leave.

But I love you. I think.

Whatever this feeling is that makes me so weak. 

I hate it.