Forgotten (Book 1 of the Remembrance Series)

Renounce

   I was running. I didn't know what I was running from, but I could feel it's ominous presence following me, chasing me... hunting me.
   I felt as if I couldn't run fast enough, stumbling over my long strides as I charged down a hill, falling to one knee twice. It was closer. Cars and people passed by, hardly casting a glance as I ran. Why weren't they helping?!
   Before I knew it, I stood at the end of an alley, the only ways to go being up, or back towards whatever was preying on me... or stay here and fight. Why had I taken the course of a coward? I was Shizuo Heiwajima! Not some little baby! Not anymore!
   Turning back, I came face to face with Izaya.
   He held a blade to my nose, the slightest glint of blood sparkling along it. What was he doing...? What had I done? Did I hurt him again?!
   "Shizu-Chan... I don't want you anymore!" he cried out, a wide toothy smirk dancing about his figure. My eyes grew wide as I watched him step closer, the blade mere inches from my neck now.
   "I-Izay-"
   "Quiet, beast! I said I don't want you! I didn't, I don't, and I won't!" He gave a high string of laughter, the blade now digging into my neck. "I had my fun with you, but now you're just a broken toy... and I can't keep you. The smartest thing to do..." I choked as the blade was thrust into my windpipe, blood flooding my throat and mouth, sinking into my lungs. "Would be to get rid of you!" His eyes were wide with excitement, an innocent smile on his face.
   I was happy. I could die as I looked at him, die seeing his innocent smile.
   I was on my knees, red and white swarming through my vision. It was like koi in a pond, floating about and refracting on the surface of the water. I gave a smile as Izaya pulled the knife out, blood sprinkling the pavement and his feet as he kept that innocent smile on his face. He had what he wanted, that was all that mattered. I didn't care if I was dying, I didn't even blame him. I felt... free.
   "I forgive you, Izaya..." I choked out between breaths, turning my face up to smile. I ignored the pain as the wound on my neck stretched more, as my lungs screamed for oxygen, as I fell to the ground.
   None of that mattered now. I would die soon, so there was no need to worry about the pain, it was pointless.

                           ◇♡◇

   I woke up with a strangled shout, my hands clawing at my neck as I fought for air.
   I couldn't breathe, my lungs couldn't pump the air in, I couldn't breathe! Black dots clouded my vision as I panted, drowning in nothing. It was as if someone had suck the air out of the world.
   A swirling shape swung towards me before another smeared across the room, heading straight for me. Before I could figure out what happened, I had fallen back into sleep once more.

                            ◇♡◇

   I woke up again, something tight around my neck. Not again- was this just a forever lasting circle?! I started to breathe heavily in fear until I realized I could breathe, my heart slowly climbing back down my throat as I laughed, touching my neck. Bandages? Had the dream actually been real? Did I lose my love?!
   I jumped up to find I was still in Izaya and I's house, sleeping in our shared bed. Slowly making my way down the stairs, I was greeted by a chipper Mioku, who squealed and jumped up at me, wrapping her appendages around my neck and waist. I hissed as a pain erupted in my neck. Izaya then popped up from the kitchen, pulling Mioku from me.
   "No hanging on daddy. He's hurt!" He scolded, poking her nose. She gave a pout and nodded, suddenly clinging to Izaya. My raven haired lover gave a yelp as Mioku used her weight to swing them around, giggling as he stumbled about.
   'I guess it really was a dream...' I thought, slowly making my way to the kitchen. A stack of pancakes sat on the table with a tall glass of milk, a heart decorated with syrup on the top. The rest pooled around the pancake tower, like an island.
   "Enjoy, Shizu-Chan!~" Izaya cooed, followed by the sound of jangling keys. "I have to go out for a bit! I'll be back in time to make dinner! Shinra also called to say he was gonna stop by and see how you're doing." He gave me a smack on the cheek, my face growing flushed as he skipped from the room.