Most Everything (Hartbig AU)

viii.

I'd talk to Ingrid.

--

/ I didn't fool you / but I failed you / in short, made a fool out of you / and a younger heart /

Only Love --- Mumford & Sons

--

Lucky for me, she had asked to come over and film a "Sense of Self" video with me. I had agreed, trying to move past the whole "Hangrid" thing, and now I was even more glad I had done so. I had some shit to talk through, and who better to do it with than the girlfriend of the one I was still madly in love with?

After finishing up, I put my giant paper mache giraffe back in its spot near the door. "Thanks for letting me be nosy," Ingrid called from where she was sitting in the living room.

"Oh, no problem! I love sharing my life with the internet," I said, giggling as I returned.

She grinned, getting up as if to leave. "I'd better be going then."

"No!" I exclaimed, my cheeks reddening at the outburst. "No, wait, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?"

"Of course," she replied, sitting down next to me with a curious expression on her face. It was a mix between sour and worried.

"I.." My voice trailed off and I looked down, picking at a loose thread on the couch. "I don't really know how to start this."

She put her hand on my back and started rubbing circles. "You look really nervous. Just take it easy, I won't judge you, no matter what it is. Believe me, I've been to some dark places, too." A calming smile had found its way onto her face, and I felt awful knowing that in a moment I could take it away. So I had to make sure I didn't.

"Okay. Say..." I started. My mouth was as dry as sandpaper. I swallowed hard. "Say theoretically someone liked someone else, and their feelings are reciprocated, but the someone else has already moved on and is dating another someone. How can the someone maintain their same relationship with the someone else even though someone else knows how someone feels, and vice versa?"

There was a moment of silence as she tried to make sense of what I had just spewed out.

"Grace, is this about me and Hannah?" Her face looked flushed and she pulled her hand away.

My pulse pounded in my ears. "How did you know?"

"I should be asking you the same thing, I mean I never told anybody besides Hannah, and I hope I wasn't that obvious about it...."

What?

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

She paled. "You weren't talking about me at all."

"No."

A pause.

"This is about completely different people, isn't it."

No. "Yes."

She stared down at the couch. "I suppose you want an explanation, though?"

I smiled weakly. "If you wouldn't mind. Now I'm even more confused than I was earlier."

Ingrid sighed. "It all started when I first found your videos, obviously. It's cliché but it's how it happened; I fell for a screen with a face behind it, and when we met, you seemed bigger than life itself. But you were so obviously infatuated with Chester, that even before we met, I knew it would never work out. So I tried to move on. Luckily for me, there was someone else who was in the same situation I was."

"Hannah," I mentioned quietly.

"Yeah. We hit it off, and not just because we were in love with the same straight girl. She's- god, she's so easy to spend time with, you would know." A soft grin had taken over her features. "I guess you're the reason we got pulled together. But that's not why we stayed together. And I never really meant for you to find out what I went through, especially not like this. Kind of awkward." She forced a laugh.

"Yeah, no, I'm sorry I put you through that, it definitely wasn't intentional."

"No hard feelings?"

"Of course not," I said, trying to come across as relaxed. In reality, my mind was swirling with scenarios that I had caused, just because I hadn't admitted my feeling earlier. Situations I had made messes of for myself because I had been stupid.

"But what was it you were saying earlier?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I think I've got it figured out now. Thanks, Ingrid."

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see a message from Mamrie. Let me know when Ingrid is leaving so I can head over.

"That was Mamrie," I sighed. "I think we're filming something tonight."

"Oh, then I'll get out of here! Thanks so much for having me Grace, touching your stuff was really fun."

I giggled. "Any time, Ingrid. Just don't take that out of context."

And then she was gone.

I dialed Mamrie's number the next moment by memory. "Mames, you can come over whenever."

The tone of my voice must have tipped her off that something was wrong, because she didn't even bother making a joke of my word choice. "I'm on my way."

--

After relaying the new information, Mamrie rubbed her temples. "Y'all have a fucking mess on your hands, good lord. Like, even worse than we thought before."

"Yeah, I know." I sighed. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now? They're only together because of me."

"Gracie, I hate to break it to you, but I think the only thing you can do is move on. Do you remember what I said about time?"

I nodded. "Time fixes most everything, even if it's not the way you expected."

She rubbed my shoulder and stood up. "Exactly! And what isn't fixed by time immediately, can be fixed by alcohol."

So now I was supposed to just get over someone I had just barely missed having. Easy, right? But I trusted Mamrie, and her advice, and her mom tendencies. I knew she was right about time fixing things in unexpected ways. I just hoped the unexpected ways would end up working in my favor, and soon.