Most Everything (Hartbig AU)

ix.

So now I was supposed to just get over someone I had just barely missed having. Easy, right? But I trusted Mamrie, and her advice, and her mom tendencies. I knew she was right about time fixing things in unexpected ways. I just hoped the unexpected ways would end up working in my favor, and soon.

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/ how could I deserve him / when I could never earn him / all that I can see / is how kind he is to me /

Silas --- Betty Who

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And that was it. That was the end of Hartbig, I had assumed. After my talk with Ingrid, neither of them contacted me very frequently. The Trinity slowly healed back to what it used to be, even though on screen and on stage nothing had changed.

In reality, everything was different.

Hartbig was over.

Until one night, a watery Hannah showed up to my apartment way past midnight. I wasn't sure why I was still up, but there had been something gnawing at me all night. Call me crazy, but I believe fate wanted me awake so I could take care of Hannah and keep her safe.

The gentle thumps on my door sounded more like pounding, even with the gentle drizzle of rain. Nobody knocked when they came over, because the only ones who came over anymore were Chester and Mamrie, and they each had a key. So the knocking was my first sign that something was wrong.

I crawled out of my nest of blankets and stumbled to the foyer, stifling a yawn. I opened the door without a second thought, only hesitating when I saw a shivering and crying blonde hunched over into herself.

Hannah?

"Oh my god, are you okay? Come in before you catch something!" I rushed out, immediately opening my arms for her to huddle into. We slowly made our way to the living room, never breaking our embrace. The feeling of her arms tucked inside mine was stingingly sweet, agonizingly perfect. I had to remind myself more than once that I had moved on.

After a good ten minute or so of just snuggling on the couch, I worked up the courage to speak. "Han?"

"Yeah?" she croaked out, her voice shaky and scratchy from crying. I winced at the idea.

"What- Ca-can you tell me what's wrong?"

A sob wracked her small frame and I hugged her closer to me. "Ingrid and I ... we broke up. We're taking a break." She used air quotes around the word break, and I felt my heart fall to my toes.

"Why?" I whispered.

She sighed quietly. "You remember how Troyler exploded, right? So high up, rising infinitely, and then suddenly crashing down?" I nodded slowly, an idea of the disaster already filling my mind. "The pressure was too much. We couldn't handle the constant speculation, the pictures, the rumors, the everything that came with trying to lead lives outside of YouTube. And we weren't ready to come out as a couple. So..."

I rubbed her arm. "Oh, Han.."

"So, Ingrid suggested we take a break," she said, breaking down before she could even finish her sentence. "And I- I didn't do anything to stop her from leaving. I let her go, Grace. How could I let her go?"

"She'll come back if it's meant to be, Hannah, you know that. She'll feel this aching need for you beside her, and know that you were never meant to be apart like this. She'll feel it..." I trailed off. Hannah was looking at me with wide eyes, like I had said something that was more than mildly important - which I hadn't.

I rubbed my hand along her arm a few more times and then started to stand up, pulling her with me. "Come on, love, let's get you fixed up. How does some tea sound?"

I all but carried her shaking body into the kitchen and gently set her down in a chair. "It'll be just a second, okay?"

"You..." I whipped around to face her at the word. "You still have my favorite? Why?"

'She'll come back if it's meant to be, Hannah, you know that.'

Oh no.

"It's not like I could just get rid of it," I said, trying to shrug it off. "As much as I hate drinking it, this shit's expensive."

She cracked a small smile and I wanted to cry at the sight. And while some part of me was aware that she knew the true reasoning behind my care for her tea, I couldn't find it in me to be bothered by that. Even with the tension in the room, I was silently rejoicing every time we accidentally bumped hands, every time her eyes lingered on mine. We were going to be okay.

I knew better than anyone that this was dangerous. She and Ingrid had just started their break. She was emotionally raw. Fuck, I was still emotionally raw from our falling-out over half a year ago. The two of us alone together could lead to some very bad consequences.

And god, just being in the same room as her made my skin feel like it was on fire, the flames licking up and down my arms, tickling my scalp and wrapping me tight until the heat was almost painful, but it didn't hurt as bad as it should have. Not a single second of the intensity was as incredibly awful as it should have been, just because I was lucky to have that heat back in my life. I was so insanely lucky.

But on the other hand, I couldn't help but feel a little smug. When she had no one, she had turned to me, even when we hadn't talked for six months. She turned to me, the one who had froze her out. Me, who expected her to fall at my feet at the first indication I was interested, as if she wasn't her own person capable of growing and changing. Of all people, me.

And I couldn't keep my own words from ringing around in my head, no matter how hard I tried, echoing until I could barely tell one syllable from the next. She'll come back if it's meant to be. Was I talking about Ingrid or Hannah? I didn't want to be too hopeful about us, but deep down, I knew I had been talking about Hannah. I just wasn't sure if she knew that or not.

She'll come back if it's meant to be, Hannah, you know that.

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Hey guys! Just so you know, school starts tomorrow for me, so the very loose update schedule I've been trying to follow will probably slow way down. Sorry about that 😅

Be prepared for next chapter.... >:^)