I'm Not Who You Think I Am- Peter Parker x Y/N(fem!reader)

Epilogue part 1

I don't know how long it's been, or where we were exactly. But I know 3 things:

1. Thanos is still out there
2. We're gonna run out of oxygen in a few days

And 3.....

Peter's gone.

I haven't spoken to anyone in a few days. It's just Tony, me and the blue girl, who I recently found out is named Nebula. The ship is a constant atmosphere of grief, and i can't handle it. I got weak, so did Tony. He's thin and fragile looking and it scares me to the point of not being able to look at him, or speak to him.

So I sit in the corner of the ship in my makeshift bed, playing music on earbuds that are now pretty much embedded into my ears. Every night I scroll through the footage from my suit, the audio from the comms. Holding onto the last glimpse of his face, the sound of his voice, questioning if I'll ever see him again. And if I don't....could I ever live the same way?

As if by a miracle, one I wish had come earlier, we make it back to earth. Tony is rushed to the med bay. Everything is happening so fast. Walking off the ship, my parents Nat and Bruce taking me into their arms, saying things i couldn't understand. Dad isn't dad anymore, he's like the Hulk but with my dad's face and voice, I don't know, my hearing is muffled, my vision blurred. This isn't real.

Or at least that's what I thought until I felt mom's hands on my cheeks. "We were so worried..." I hear her say as her face finally becomes recognizable. I'm relieved to be back, sure. But something's off, everything is. Even though we're back on earth, back at the compound, the atmosphere of grief is still there. Like a weight holding me down.

....

It's been about a month, I've started talking again, little by little. It feels like a crime, sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes, watching his favorite movies. But I can't let go of him. Even though everyone says that there's nothing we can do, that for the first time....

We lost.

It's hard to accept the fact that all my friends are gone, I haven't gone back to school yet, no one has. It would be too much. So instead most of the world stays at home, and try to figure things out. Tonight everyone is in the common room. I forgot whose idea it was. But someone thought we should do bonding activities, to unite us so we can move on. Tonight it was games.

I have this weight on my back, this pain in my chest that only gets worse when I think about the people we've lost. It's been about an hour now, I sit quietly on the couch next to mom while everyone was having fun. It's not the same, and it never will be. So I go back to my room and try to drown out the noise and memories in my head. I need to make them go away.

I have these gummies I bought from one of the seniors at school who I ran into a few weeks ago. They worked well, they made me forget, at least long enough to let me sleep. So I layed in bed and let a few dissolve in my mouth, letting the haze take over my mind. Sleeping on his pillow, it made it feel like he was right there.

I didn't know that Steve had already found my method to staying sane.

I am incredibly sorry for the 3 year delay but yes there will be a part 2 mayyybe 3 just not a whole sequel

Love you allll