A War on Two Fronts (Peterick)

Chapter 19

-Patrick-

I. Am. An. Asshole.

After I left Pete at the fire, I went straight to the tent, cried silently, and fell asleep before Pete came to the tent. I woke up in the middle of the the night and heard him sobbing into his pillow and it took everything I had not to go over there and hold him and tell him I love him. I just blocked it out and went back to sleep.

I woke up feeling the guilt of my words hang over me and drag me down. It made me tired and my chest burned with pain, the fire fueled by the look on Pete's face as we walked.

Pete didn't deserve everything I said to him, but its best for the both of us. I know I love Pete with everything I have, but I have to shut that out because its what's best for both of us. If I went home gay, my entire family would disown me and I would be left with nothing in life. He'll understand one day.

Marching down this dirt road made my feet ache. However, the physical pain I can get use to, but its the emotional pain I'm feeling right now that kills me. I'm coming apart at the seams, but that's my own fault. I can't handle the looks Pete has been giving me all day. I can see the hurt and depression in his eyes and it shatters my heart and I want nothing more than to run to him, apologize, and confess my love for him. But I can't do that.

He's turned out the be the greatest person I've ever met and he makes me forget all about Elisa because I've been thinking of him non stop since we met. But just like a child is punished for acting on their impulses, both our lives would be ruined if we acted on our emotions. We would he subjected to discrimination and hardship in a world full of homophobia, and I don't want to live life with someone who I can't openly be with. Our love will fade with time and turn to dust blown away in the wind.

I heard a single gunshot that snapped me to attention, and no sooner, the soldier next to me fell to the ground dead. We all dropped to the ground as the Vietcong crawled out of their tunnels in the ground and began shooting from behind trees.

My instinct reaction is to search for Pete to make sure he's okay, but I couldn't see while I was on the ground.

"Fall back!" I heard Sargent yell the command over the gunfire. I got up and ran to the trees with everyone else, but before I can make it, a pain that I've never felt before hit my shoulder. I fell to my knees and as I stood back up only to have another bullet hit my calf. I fall to the ground in panic.

"PETE!!" I yell above everything. "PETE. I'VE BEEN SHOT. IM HURT!!" I yell louder and in no time, he's by my side on the ground.

"Ssshhhh. Its going to be okay 'Trick. You're going to be alright. I'm here." He said with tears in his eyes as he dragged me behind the trees.

"It hurts so bad Pete."

"I know it does, but I need you to be still and apply pressure to try and stop the bleeding. Can you do that for me?" He begged and I nodded. "Good." He said kissing my cheek. I watch him stand up and take cover behind a tree and start firing his weapon. After what felt like forever, the shooting finally stopped and Pete walked over to me. "How do you feel?" He asked.

I smiled. "Do I really have to answer that question?"

He laughed and smiled that perfect smile that I fell in love with.

"Pete. I have something to tell you?"

"What is it?"

"Well. I-" I jumped as I heard a gun shot go off, and I watched Pete fall to his knees I heard another gun shot from our side.

Pete was on his knees clenching his chest trying to stop a bullet that already found its mark.

"Pete!" I sit up completely forgetting my own pain and go to him

"Patrick... Am... Am I going to die?" He asked looking me in the eyes.

"No! You're going to make it." I said crying uncontrollably.

"Don't lie to me." He said smiling.

"No! Pete! You protected me like you promised. Now don't leave me. Please! I need you. I love you, Panda. More than I ever loved anyone else. Please don't leave me!!" I said, tears falling from my face onto his.

"Patrick... That's all I ever wanted to hear from you..." He smiled and I leaned down and connected our lips. I poured all of my being into the kiss giving him everything I am, somehow thinking I could save him with the kiss. When I pulled back he had the biggest smile on his face. He looked me in the eyes. "I'm so happy 'Trick... I lo... I lov... I..." He never finished that sentence.